Archive for the 'Dating Tips' Category

Eye Contact: Gateway to a Man’s Strength

Published by
Jae
at July 2, 2008 in Body Language and Dating Tips. 4 Comments

In the game of attraction, one of the critical points that separate the master seducers from the average guy is great eye contact.

It doesn’t matter who you are or how good you are with women, you can reduce blowouts or rejections by having better eye contact skills.

It has been said that a man’s eyes are the gateway to his soul, and by looking into them you can see the strength of his spirit. 

What do you think women see when they look into your eyes?


The First Test of Strength

When you meet a woman for the first time, you must maintain steady eye contact.

An easy way to do this is to focus on just one eye. I usually just take my right eye and look at her right eye. This makes it easier to focus without darting back and forth.

When you’re at a party and you approach a girl you like, it’s important that you try keep consistent steady eye contact until you see some signs of attraction. This doesn’t mean keep your eyes totally glued on hers, but keep your gaze on her as much as possible. Every time you break your eye contact, it gives the woman the opportunity to decide where or not she’ll keep listening or just leave.

It’s the same thing when it comes to an aggressive dog — if you stand firm and look a dog right at his face, the dog will bark, but will not charge you. The dog will recognize that your frame is stronger than his, and will back down. It may even let you pet it. However if you look away or turn away, the dog will often continue it’s aggression.


The Screening Frame

When you look a woman in the eye while speaking, the woman often feels that you are screening her. This may be subconscious, but it sets off an auto-pilot response to start self-monitoring. This self-monitoring may often show in the form of preening (fixing her hair, touching her face, etc.) Regardless, she will feel like she’s put in an intense spotlight, so bright that she can barely pay attention to what you’re saying.

You notice this a lot when you give women solid eye contact and they utter “what…” followed by a nervous, self-monitoring smile. If you do it right, she’ll often feel an momentary surge of inexplicable attraction for you.

This is how powerful eye contact is. You can use eye contact alone without saying anything special and get a woman attracted.

Notice how Mickey Rourke doesn’t take his eyes off Kim Basinger and follows her eyes even as she tries to look away. This is a very seductive technique. He’s not glaring at her, but displaying his confidence and interest through his eyes.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression.”

This is why when you first meet a woman you must stick to strong eye contact so that you can control the frame.

The point here is not to make her feel inadequate, but come off as a strong and dominant alpha male, not the weak beta male who darts his eyes away nervously in the presence of a woman.

Your eye contact, or lack thereof, will tell a woman volumes about you. It shows her that you are grounded, confident, and completely secure.  You don’t care what others think of you. You become the judge. You’re showing that you’re screening her to see whether she’s good enough for you.

If you can’t look a woman in the eye and maintain eye contact, she will see you as insecure and nervous, and she’ll be the one screening you.


Attraction Points 

If you’re at a party and you see a girl you like, she might catch you looking at her from a distance. At this moment, you must never look away first. Because the moment you decide to approach her, she may not be as receptive towards you, because she has already written you off as a bit unsure of yourself. You’ve given her the upper hand.

Most guys will look at a woman, and then when she looks back, immediately look away. It’s a natural response that is easily built since childhood. We see little kids do this all the time – they stare at people and when they get caught they quickly dart their eyes away to the ceiling or something else.

It’s rare to have strong eye contact unless you were raised that way or worked on it at some point in your life.

Do not give her eye contact one hundred percent of the time. That’s just creepy.

When she’s talking to you and you’re listening, you should make eye contact about seventy percent of the time. The rest of the time you can look around you, left, right, or up - but don’t look down - it’s a sign of submission and nervousness.

When you’re the one talking try to give her strong eye contact, except when you’re thinking about something - it’s natural to look away.

Once your eyes meet with a woman, wait until she looks away first. If she looks into your eyes for more than three seconds, it may be an invitation to approach her. If she looks up at you again, smile, wave, or go up and say hi. Just the fact that you didn’t dart your eyes will set you apart from all the other guys.

Remember, too much eye contact and you could be seen as aggressive. You want to show her that you can maintain solid eye contact on the first meet, when you’re introducing yourself, but after that you can look away.

Sometimes it’s good to look away from a woman, just at the right time – the best time is when she’s clearly attracted to you.

When I’m at the club talking to a girl and it’s clear she’s attracted, sometimes I’ll look around at the club, and it’ll make her try harder to get my attention. When you do this it shows her that she’s not THAT special and you could move on at any time. It shows her she’s not your only hope and you know you have other options, this will increase her attraction for you.


How to Tell She’s Attracted Through Her Eyes

The advantage of keeping good eye contact is that you can also be scanning for cues to see whether a girl is attracted to you. The eyes are windows to the soul and are one of the most accurate ways of telling if she is attracted to you.

A girl will start to gaze deeper into your eyes as she gets more attracted.

If a woman is truly attracted or aroused, she’ll maintains eye contact throughout and her pupils will become dilated. Our eyes do this when we’re focused on something and we want to observe more of it.

Check her blink rate. If she’s attracted her blink rate may go up slightly and she may flutter her eyes more often.

After you’ve build some rapport, and you catch her looking at your mouth, she might be wondering what it’d be like to kiss you.

She can also start to subconscious bite her lips, wetting them, or start showing more of her tongue.

If she winks at you in the middle of a conversation or even from a distance, she’s obviously interested you.

Also watch if she twirls her hair around her fingers or perhaps strokes her hair lightly with her hand while maintaining eye contact.

If you know that she’s attracted through most of these cues, then you need to act.

Something I personally do to create some more sexual tension through is reply to these cues with some deep gazing. Refrain from saying anything at one point for a good five to seven seconds, while gazing into her eyes with a “you’re a bad girl” squint. Add a slight smirk on your face.

She’ll then probably ask,  “what?” like she has something on her face. Stare at her left eye, then her right, then down at her lips, then back up at her eyes. As she talks, keep doing this with your eyes and it’ll make it clear to her what you want. If you catch her looking at your lips at any point here, this is when you start moving in for a kiss. If she says “what are you looking at?” in a weirded-out tone, just say “I just noticed something about you…but I’m not going to tell you,” and look away, or say “not much,” with a smile. She’ll probably respond with something like hit you playfully, creating even more attraction.


Practicing Your Eye Contact

Here are some ways you can practice good eye contact:

1) Lock eyes with yourself in a mirror

Practice this everyday, until you can hold this for a few it minutes without changing your expression.

2) Practice on people you pass on the street

If you’re really bad with automatically darting your eyes when someone looks at you, you can first start out with mirrored or dark sunglasses. This way, when you’re tempted to automatically look away, you’re always reminded that they can’t see your eyes.

Observe how other people manage their own eye contact and take mental notes of what it communicates. This way you’ll start to see and really understand what type of eye movements show nervousness, and what type of eye contact shows strength or confidence.

Without any sunglasses, try to make eye contact with every woman you see on the street. Hold it for as long as you can. Give them a nod and a smile if that helps. You should practice this until you get to the point where you can lock looks with them until they break it first. In most cases, she’ll look down from your stare, which is a sign of submission. (Not always a sign of interest, mind you, but it is a good sign of your dominance.) Learn to enjoy it when a woman looks away in embarrassment.

3) Practice on Store Clerks, Cafe Baristas, and Bar Staff

If you are having trouble staring directly in someone’s eyes, practice on baristas, store clerks, and bartenders. If you’re ordering something, look them straight in the eye with a smile and tell them what you want. This is a good way to practice because they won’t be weirded out by it - it will actually make their day. Most people don’t look at them in the eye at all, and they feel like non-existent beings that nobody ever acknowledges. Look them in the eye, smile, and say thank you. Usually when I do this the barista or bartender busts into a smile. It’s so rare for them that they sometimes even give me the drink on the house. Try it!


Tying it all together

Something fun you can do at a bar with your eyes is to look above a girl at the ceiling like there is something hanging over her, or look past her over her shoulder. If she sees you looking, she’ll first look at what you’re staring at, and then she’ll turn back to you. Once she turns back to you and stares at you, this is when you bring your eyes back to her. Now she’s the one who got caught checking you out first. You can then go up to her, introduce yourself, and bust her for checking you out. She’ll most likely laugh. Take it from there.

When you are trying to attract someone and show them you are interested you can talk and listen with your eyes. When a person you like is speaking use the whole face as your focal point. Look at their eyes, listen to what they are saying, smile in the appropriate places, raise your eyebrows in the appropriate places.

If you feel you are staring at them move to their other features such as their lips, their cheeks, their nose and then back to their eyes. Smiling when listening to someone is a great way to show you are interested in them, obviously don’t smile when they have just told you their pet died last night. You have to listen with your ears as well as listening with your eyes (yes I did mean listening with your eyes, you listen to someone’s body language with your eyes).

You don’t want to stand there like a fool and make your goal to just focus on staring into the girl’s eyes - remember to listen to her if she’s speaking. Look for cues as well when you’re talking to her.

The basic components of eye behavior are easy to master, once you know how they work. It is important not to make eye contact look deliberate or controlled. The goal is always to use your eyes in a relaxed way so that you never make others feel uncomfortable.

Here’s an extreme (and hilarious) example of crazy eye contact from the always alpha, Robbie Williams:

Cheers,

Jae

The Balance of Masculinity and Femininity

Published by
Jae
at April 18, 2008 in Informative and Dating Tips. 5 Comments

Hey guys,

I want to share with you a short and simple concept that you can easily apply towards your current image.

Whether you’re just starting to pay attention to your image, going through a complete overhaul, or looking for that extra edge, you’ll need this concept to make the best first impression.

Let’s get straight to it.

The Balance of Masculinity and Femininity

If you’re a straight man, you should look like a straight man. Unless you want to be like Prince, and keep people guessing.

Women are naturally more attracted to men who seem masculine. While we want to dress well, there is a fine line that can bring some guys into looking gay. While women may love gay men for friendships, it’s obviously not the best image for sparking real attraction.

This is a problem for some men, because as they pay more attention to their appearance, they may start becoming mistaken for a gay male or come off as feminine. There is a solution to this, and it has to do with knowing whether you naturally look feminine and making sure there is a balance.

The feminine polarity is always attracted to a strong masculine polarity.

Thus, your image should either display a highly masculine OR neutral polarity.

If you have naturally more feminine facial features or body type, you should create balance with a more masculine appearance. Even with feminine features, you can still increase your image so that on first impression, you come off as highly masculine.

At the least, you should carry not a feminine polarity but a NEUTRAL one. Neutral is neither too feminine or too masculine.

This is all to avoid looking either gay or weak. Which minimizes the masculine polarity that makes it easier to attract women.

If you naturally have masculine traits, you can create a highly masculine appearance by complimenting what you were born with. You also have more leeway to wear clothing that some would say is more “feminine” than most, as long as you don’t fall below the neutral point.

What defines feminine features?

Well, for one, if people sometimes mistake you for a woman, you’re obviously more on the feminine side. If most of your female friends are bigger than you - while they are still considered “skinny” - then you are further down the feminine side of the scale. Do you ever get complimented on specific facial features? For example: do you have “pretty” eyes?

Soft cheeks without a prominent jaw line, perfect skin combined with little to no facial hair, long eye lashes, a poor muscular development, or a lower weight than what is considered healthy for your height, are traits that will create a first impression of you being less “manly.” If you have a combination of these, you may need to counter it with an image that ensures you’re giving off a masculine polarity on first impression.

If this is you, you may be feeling a bit uncomfortable about yourself right now. Don’t.

There is nothing negative about having a more “feminine” polarity. I have feminine features myself, and it’s neither good nor bad. It’s simply a loaded attribute that comes with a very different message than its polar, masculine counterpart.

However, if one has an extremely feminine look to his image, it can lead others to make assumptions such as “weak, insecure, beta” - traits that are very unattractive in the eyes of women.

Why not maximize your potential for attracting women with a more masculine polarity?

If you feel that you are on the feminine side, don’t worry, there is road towards balance.

What defines more masculine features?

Some traits that scientists say are a natural display of “masculinity,” are a prominent jaw line, a wide chest and broad shoulders, a muscular body, and lots of hair.

An easier way to look at all of this is:

Masculinity = Strength and lots of testosterone

Feminine = Weaker compared to the “ideal man” and more estrogen


How to Create Balance

If you’re on the feminine side, here are some examples of how to create a more masculine appearance.

Growing out your facial hair

Here is an example of what facial hair can do:

Leonardo DiCaprio looks a lot more masculine with shorter hair as well as growing facial hair.

Tips for the Skinny Guy

If you’re skinny, start working out if you don’t. These types of things are obvious, and they take time, but what can more easily be changed is the type of clothing you wear.

First of all, avoid overly tight clothing if you’re skinny. This will only accentuate your skinniness. Avoid baggy clothing as well, as they will have the same effect. Make sure your clothing skims your body.

Bring In a Masculine Edge To Your Clothing

Go for clothing that give you a masculine edge. Some examples would be rock inspired clothing, military style clothing, or even classic menswear such as a suit. Be careful with floral print shirts, and pink, as they will only accentuate your femininity.

What’s in fashion right now are military style shirts, with epaulets on the shoulders. It will broaden the look of your shoulders, as well as allude the military association to give it that masculine edge.

Here is an example of Orlando Bloom who wears pieces that create a stronger masculine polarity:

Notice the way he grows out his facial hair, wears a rocker-style shirt, and sports a thick leather band watch that adds thickness to his wrists - all these things add more masculinity to him.

Accessories

Make sure your accessories would never pass as your girlfriend’s accessories. Be careful wearing thin flashy jewelry.
If you naturally have more masculine traits, you can get away with more feminine pieces and not be mistaken for a gay guy. You can wear floral print shirts, scarves for fashion, and easily look good in jewelry.

This does not mean that you have to balance out your natural masculinity with a more “metro-sexual” style. You can dress and groom yourself in a very masculine way, and you don’t have to work really hard at it. Just know that you have the option to dress and groom yourself in a “feminine” way without losing that masculine polarity.

There is a limit to how far you can go with a more feminine appearance though, depending on how naturally masculine you look. You can grow out long hair like Fabio, wear things that most guys can’t, but avoid crossing the fine line between a metrosexual style and passably gay.

The Message to Remember

So assess yourself today and decide if you are naturally born masculine and feminine.

As you continuously build your own unique image, remember the concept of masculine polarity. If you have feminine features, ask yourself “Do I have room to come off as more masculine?” If you’re blessed with masculine features, you have the choice to accentuate your masculinity or create a style that brings out some of your feminine side.

This is an important element in making a stronger first impression with women.

Cheers,

Jae

P.S. - Stay tuned for an article on bracelets!

The Language Of Style (Part 2)

Published by
Jae
at March 14, 2008 in Dating Tips. 0 Comments

This is the final part in a 2-part series of articles entitled “The Language Of Style” (co-written by Jae & Theory) Click here for Part 1

The majority of men today will put little effort into outward appearance, and then question why women aren’t giving them more attention.

The fact is that we all want to look better, feel better, and be more attractive to the opposite sex, but it’s just not in our culture as men to talk about our appearances. Women talk about this stuff all the time. Women trade fashion tips and tell each other whose butt looks fat in what. It’s just part of their culture, and these are things that they’re comfortable – and engaged in – discussing.

Along with fashion talk just not being part of a man’s conversations, the American workplace has also become so casual in the past twenty years, everyone is dressing down now. Fathers are no longer giving their children style advice anymore. If you do get good advice from your father, consider yourself lucky. The majority of us are lost and bewildered.

So How Can One Learn This Language?

With nobody to turn to, men are left crawling in the dark by themselves, desperately searching for the door that leads to sartorial wisdom. Inherently, we all know that the way we look matters, but nobody is out there guiding us in the right direction.

As men, we need direction. There was a study done where researchers discovered that by placing a small etching of a fly in public bathroom urinals, there was less spillage. We men need something to aim at.

This means that before you go shopping, you must have a plan. Make a list of things you want to purchase next time you hit the stores. When something catches your eye online or in a magazine, add the item to your list. This will prevent you from aimlessly walking around and merely perusing through each store - wasting time and ending up purchasing something you didn’t want just because the salesgirl said it was “so you.”

With a specific plan in your mind, now you’re at the store with a mission. You go in, get what you need, and you get out. The man’s way. Sounds simple, I know, but does everything have to sound complicated for you to want to give it a try?

The best way to start learning the language of style is by looking at those who know it and begin emulating them.

So surround yourself with style savvy friends or fashion magazines, and make mental notes of what looks good to you. When you see great outfits in fashion magazines, cut them out and save the pages, take note of what is worn and how the outfit is put together. After all, the models are dressed by stylists. Be careful not to get sucked into all the advertising though. You don’t have to buy the exact pieces to look good, focus studying the outfit combinations.

When you’re out shopping, and you happen to see some other interesting items, try it on. This is a simple concept that most men don’t ever bother to implement. The only way to truly expand your style and find what you like is to try it on first. Something you judge won’t work for you at first glance may change entirely once you put it on.

Make sure an item you try on makes you feel good. Maybe it makes you feel sexier, more confident, or says something you’ve always wanted to voice through your clothing.

The biggest sartorial faux pas is dressing in something you dislike. This is not to discourage risk-taking, but risks are usually taken in the direction that the person wants to go.

If you try something on and no part of the item makes you feel better at all, you’ll most likely come off as incongruent because it’s not something that is in sync with any element of your personality, and the uncomfortable body language that accompanies this emotion will amplify the incongruence even more.

Once you begin to really use a language, you’ll figure out how to use it more effectively. Instead of purchasing items that are in fashion, you’ll purchase items because you need them to complete a specific look you want to achieve. It becomes a lot more fun when you know what a certain element of your outfit is presenting about your character.

It takes practice like anything else, you have to learn through trial and error. One of the biggest reasons why most people aren’t willing to learn how to dress is because they believe they need a lot money to learn it. The truth is that you can still find any of the items you want at a cheaper price, it just takes more time.

If you don’t have the money at the moment, try all the items you want at the store as if you have all the money in the world, and then either look for something cheaper, or save up for it.

A great way to get a quick, mini-stylist is to ask a female friend who has an eye for fashion to tag along with you next time you go shopping. She’ll give you the straight facts from a woman’s view and give you the feedback you need before you decide to purchase something. Warning: Unless she knows how to properly dress herself, and has lots of guys in her life, be picky about the advice she gives you. All girls will have varying opinions, make sure she’s the type of girl you’d want to impress.

Also, if you have a girlfriend or a wife, do not be lazy and let her buy all your clothes. Why? For the same reason she doesn’t send you out to buy all her clothes. Unless your girlfriend is a men’s fashion designer you’re not going to look amazing in the clothing she buys you. Go out there and find what you really like instead of having someone dress you in what they like.

Consider getting an image consultant or a stylist.

They’ll save you a lot of time and money in the long run. Once you understand how to shop more effectively for yourself, with a road map towards your goals, you’ll be surprised at how dramatically you can transform your style.

Now go out and learn the language of style. Others will start to understand the best in you.

Above all else, have fun with it.

Jae & Theory

Looking for a total style transformation? 1-on-1 consultations w/ Jae (Kinowear.com author & image consultant) in New York City. Questions? don’t hesitate to contact Jae@kinowear.com


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The Language Of Style (Part 1)

Published by
Theory
at March 6, 2008 in Dating Tips. 2 Comments

This is the 1st part in a 2-part series of articles entitled “The Language Of Style” written for askdanandjennifer.com.

“It’s all about personality man…women don’t care what you look like.”

Is it? or is this another feel-good rationalization that will sabotage men for generations to come…

Some men seem to think that style is nothing but superficial beautification. Others seem to fall into the other extreme of thinking image is everything—that it defines them.

Style is a language. It is a mode of communication.

To say that style is just beautification of the superficial is like saying words are just the decoration of pages. On the other hand, our style is not our identity.

The relationship can be best seen in the way a word defines the associated object/concept. The word is never truly equivalent to the object. It is just a representation, a communication of it.

René Magritte: “This is not a pipe” (It’s only a picture of a pipe)

Like the English language, there are always better ways to express the same message. It’s like describing yourself as “happy” vs. “first-paycheck-meets-last-day-of-high school joyful.” Some styles just get the message across better. Others are just antonyms. There are many men out there dressing in the antonyms of their desired selves.


The crazy thing about the language of style is that it communicates whether you are aware of it or not. Every single piece of clothing you put on is saying something about you. You might be putting on your “favorite” business casual outfit thinking you’re communicating “cultured,” “modern,” and “seasoned professional,” but you may actually be sending the message of “out-of-sync,” “antiquated,” and “amateur.”


How many judgments and presumptions can you make about the guy in the above picture? I bet you can write a paragraph about the dude’s life, including what his love life must be like, etc. You are conscious of this judgment making process now, but most of the time you are doing this unconsciously, labeling people, and making sweeping generalizations.

If you’re guilty of this, just imagine how others must be doing the same to you.

You see, the human mind is always trying to MAKE SENSE of the world. This often means making assumptions as an attempt to bridge the gap of information that it often experiences. When we see someone we’ve never seen before, the mind will do whatever it can with the information that is presented. That information is often presented in the form of appearance or image.

The common language of style exists whether you decide to acknowledge it or not. With your dress, you’re essentially “speaking” the language of society & culture, and conveying your characteristics through “words” that are commonly understood. Over-sized pants say something. So do red ties on presidents.

“OK, but who cares what others think? Why not just be confident?”

Unless you live in a cave by yourself, you should care about the messages you’re conveying through your style and clothing. To disregard it is like being OK with wearing a sign that says “loser” on your back. If you’re constantly sending messages anyways, you might as well learn the language and utilize it to work for you and not against you.

Guys: think about how often we judge women on their appearance. We often go as far as judge the very caliber of women from a mere glance, before they even say a word. I’m guilty of it. It’s as if I can “size up” a girl before I even meet her. Women do the same, with 10x the scrutiny.


Using the archetypes of style

There are countless style archetypes. There’s the “Rock Star,” “Preppy Ivy League,” “Urbane Cowboy” to name a few. All these looks have loaded messages. These are like sub-languages. They have the benefit of carrying a preloaded message–almost like canned “pick up lines.” If done right, they can be extremely powerful means of expressing a certain trait or message. However, there is always the down-side of not completely understanding the “sub-language,” botching the entire look, and coming off as a mumbled fool.

“Oh… but that’s not me”

When you dress into a certain archetype or stereotype, it’s not to pigeonhole your personality into a certain mold. It’s about a “tool” for communication. It’s about speaking the language of society, popular culture, and conveying your characteristics through “words” that are understood. This language does not define you. It is NOT your identity. You image or “look” is simply an expression of yourself through the medium of clothing


Try this

As an exercise: look yourself in the mirror right now, and ask yourself:

If I saw someone dressed the way that I’m dressed now, what kind of inferences would I make about that person?

Write down some of the words or assumptions that come to your mind. When you do this, really detach yourself from your appearance, and be honest. If you saw a guy dressed like this on the street, what would you guess about his career? his social life? his love life? Are you saying the things you want to say with your style? Are you fluent in the language of style?

Stay a cut above,

Jae & Theory

Read “The Language of Style” Part 2

If you want to see what kind of message your style communicates, check out our style critique forums where you can post images of your style and get feedback from us, as well as the community.

Looking for a total style transformation? 1-on-1 consultations w/ Jae (Kinowear.com author & image consultant) in New York City are now available in April. Questions? don’t hesitate to contact Jae@kinowear.com


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5 Tips To Dramatically Improve Your Style

Published by
Jae
at December 2, 2007 in Informative and Dating Tips. 6 Comments

Want to improve your style but you don’t know where to start?

Today’s article is for the guys who want to improve their style dramatically with little effort.

More and more men are starting to realize how a sense of fashion is an asset in every aspect of their lives. In today’s world, looking your best keeps you one step ahead.

Before

After

For those of who don’t really know where to begin in today’s society of information overload, fear not, making sure to cover the 5 areas below will be the fastest way to improve your first impression:

1) Make Sure The Fit Is Flattering

Your clothing should attractively fit your body shape - whatever shape that may be - and look like they’ve been hand-made for you.

Drilling this one bit of information into your head can instantly improve the way you look.

Yeah…yeah, it sound simple, but not having the proper fit is one of most common mistakes that men make when dressing.

So, how do you know when clothes fit right?

When you’re trying something on and you begin to question whether it’s too big or too small, it’s most likely not a great fit.

A good rule of thumb for finding a great fit is to pay attention to where the shoulder seams of the shirt or jacket lie; it should sit close above where your humerus (upper arm) fits into your scapula (shoulder blade). Not all sizes are created equal, so use good judgment. Fits will differ depending on the design and manufacturer. Your body shape will also determine if certain cuts will flatter you or not.

You may have passed with oversized clothing when you were a young boy – wearing hand me downs and attempting to add some bulk to your tiny frame - but if you’re a grown man, you can no longer get away with this.

Always wear clothes that fit like a glove, but don’t wear anything too tight. It just doesn’t look good on a man. Even if you’re muscular, women would rather it be a mystery of what’s underneath. It just looks like you’re about to burst out of your shirt any moment, you’re just making people nervous. If you’re built, it’ll show up in your frame, you really don’t have to show off your muscles to that extent - it seems like a cry for attention.

For pants, make sure they’re the right length - the bottom should just cover the top of your shoes when you’re standing. There shouldn’t be too much fabric bunched up around your ankle and they shouldn’t be so high that people can see your socks when you’re standing. If you can’t find the right length, get them hemmed to the appropriate length.

Pants should rest on your waistline, slightly above the hip bone without touching your belly button. They shouldn’t be too tight or too baggy. You should be able to fit two fingers into the waistline. For a more comfortable fit, get a relaxed fit or a boot cut. Do not purposely get a bigger size to try and create a baggier effect. Do you really want to look like a walking weight loss advertisement?

When you’re shopping at the store, always try things on. I don’t know why most guys don’t even bother, then they go home and realize that it looks all wrong. Save yourself another trip and just try it on. Once you start to pay more attention to how things fit on your body instead of just glancing at the size tag, you’ll start to recognize the patterns of what to look for next time.

2) Shoes Are Critical

Many have heard that shoes are the first thing that women look at. While that may not literally be true, shoes display an immeasurable amount of personality and taste; it’s pretty much all a woman has to look at to quickly judge what “league” you belong to.

Your shoes can make or break your entire outfit. If every part of your ensemble is perfect, but your shoes aren’t at par, you’ll look like a guy TRYING (and failing) to look stylish, not one who seamlessly IS.

I can’t stress enough how your shoes allow a person to determine how stylish you really are. Women pay attention to details, and after looking you over, your shoes will tell her the truth.

If you don’t believe that women pay attention to shoes, let me explain why. There are billions of shoes out there for women to choose from, in all shapes and sizes, most women have been trained since they were young to understand the power shoes have in helping them look fabulous. This kind of exposure and experience with shoes help them to not only judge other women by the shoes they wear, but men as well. They can quickly tell the quality of the shoes, along with the quality of the person, because they’ve been practicing it for years. When you do something enough, you undoubtedly begin to recognize patterns.

If you’re a car enthusiast, think of this:

A woman drives up in a hot exotic car, tuned up in subtle, but perfect ways. You’re experience with cars tells you what kind of person would drive a quality car like that - the kind of resources they would need to have to acquire it.

The way the car is tuned up would tell you how smart that person is, and how passionate they are about car performance and quality. You believe that this isn’t just some ordinary person but they pay attention to the details that matter, and that alone deserves your respect because it’s rare.

Finally, someone who understands, and even better, it’s someone of the opposite sex! All this probably makes you associate her with certain qualities, increasing her level of attractiveness to you.

Whenever you really understand the worth of something and how things work, you start to respect others who understand it because you know it’s not easy to get to that level of understanding without experience and some passion. And that by itself says a lot about someone. So showing a woman you understand shoes, really shows her that you’re a stylish guy.

With shoes, it’s about quality. It’s better to have two or three pairs of good shoes that will last a long time than to have twenty-five pairs of generic-looking bargain brands. That’s especially true of your dress shoes, but you can slide a little on casual shoes and sneakers.

Spend some money and get the best shoes you can afford, but make sure they are comfortable. If you’re buying leather shoes, get quality leather. It’s a lot less expensive to get them refurbished a number of times and have them last forever than to replace poorly made shoes every month.

The soles of well-made shoes will be stitched, not glued, to the bottom of the shoe. Also, the lining in better shoes is made of high-quality calfskin or natural leather, not synthetic materials. You can really tell a quality shoe by looking at the stitching - it should be neat and barely noticeable.

No matter how well you dress above your shoes, your shoes really sum it all up. Make sure you have a complete look from head toe. Nice, clean, well-made shoes is really all you need.

3) Be Mindful of Stereotypes

Image isn’t everything …

But it matters a freakin’ whole lot.

There is a “special police” guy who I see at Starbucks all the time. The Special Police unit is not a big deal in the U.S., they only have jurisdiction over small designated areas - but this guy walks in with his nicely pressed uniform like he owns the place.

The guy looks as young as a teenager - he’s got combed brown hair to one side, a spare tire gut, and wire rimmed glasses. Without his uniform, he would look like a real loser. Everyone treats him like he’s the man, almost like he’s the town sheriff - with respect, and accolade.

This is PROOF of how stereotypical dress invokes ASSOCIATIONS that Displays Higher Value even before you interact with the person.

So leverage those loaded avatars.

4) When in Doubt, Keep it Simple

If you don’t know where to start, start with the basics. We all want to stand out, but let’s do it the right way, not the wrong way. The right way will get people to compliment your style, even if it’s an outrageous rocker style. The wrong way makes you look you just threw a bunch of things together, without any specific attention to a complete look.

If you can’t cover the fundamental basics, you shouldn’t be going for the flair. Throwing on a rocker shirt and some ripped jeans won’t magically turn you into a sex god. It has to be put together the right way. So even for those attention grabbing flair addicts - when in doubt, keep it simple.

The guys who know how to do flair know how to do simple. When I say simple, I’m not talking about wearing an undershirt and some shorts. The real stylish men are the ones who can take generic looking clothing and make sure all the details are right (i.e., cut, fit, fabric, stitching, quality) along with their own knowledge of putting it all together in the most stylish way. They can take a normal dress shirt, match it with the right v-neck sweater, the right jeans, and shoes, and still stand out in great way. Throw in a hot pair of shades into the mix, and they’re golden.

You must understand what makes a man stylish before you go grabbing flashy items off the racks.

Being able to do this is a necessary base, which you can then take and add your own elements. For example, we can take the simple look I just mentioned and turn it into a rocker look in a matter of minutes:

Unbutton the collar buttons, add a skinny tie, roll up the sleeves and add a simple leather bracelet, put on some cowboy boots, and mess up the hair a little.

5) Stay In Shape

Fashion is not just about what you wear, it’s also about how it looks on your body. Take the same threads and put them on two different people: one who’s in good shape and athletic, and another who has a beer gut, round shoulders and a sunken chest. No matter what the clothes are, they’ll look better on the first guy.

Taking better care of your body can be as simple as making a few minor changes to your diet and spending a couple of hours at the gym every week. The related benefits of being healthier are that you’ll feel better about your body, be more confident and, therefore, look better. Attitude stems from confidence, and a large part of style is attitude.

For more men’s style tips, outfit critiques, and a place to ask your questions, check out the kinowear forums

Jae

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The Power of Scent: Hot New Colognes

Published by
Jae
at November 24, 2007 in Cologne and Dating Tips. 10 Comments

Last night was Theory’s birthday and it was another epic night in New York City…

It’s starting to get really cold at night though. Doesn’t it just make you want to warm up with a beautiful woman in your arms?

So to prepare for this new winter season, let’s talk about how you can smell great when she’s snuggled besides you.

We’ll talk about some hot new colognes, a few timeless classics, and some important tips on wearing scents.


Arouse Her Senses

She says:

I find myself strangely attracted to guys wearing a great cologne.

As image consultants, we help people make lasting visual impressions. However, we can’t deny the strongest human sense: smell.

When it comes to the girl you met at the club last night, you’ll probably have an easier time remembering her scent than her name. Studies show that a person’s sense of smell is connected to creating the longest lasting memories that we have.


Finding The Best Colognes

Buying the right cologne isn’t achieved by just getting whatever smells good to you.

A great cologne triggers memories in people.

When a woman smells something that triggers a good memory, she becomes drawn to whatever is producing the scent. For example, your scent might remind her of a fun summer day at the beach, or that delicious vanilla cupcake that always made her happy as a child. Get her to associate these good memories to you.

One thing I’ve noticed is that colognes that have a citrusy note get a good reaction from women because of some sort of association with those smells and things that are tasty, delicious, fresh, and clean.

Also, a lot of people have the impression that colognes vary simply by the degree of how “good” they smell. However, the truly cologne savvy know that just like clothing, there are different fragrances for different occasions. So it’s best to have a couple of different colognes to rotate, fit to different occasions [e.g., fresh everyday scent // seductive nightlife scent // woody work scent], and keep women on their toes.

And remember wearing cologne is really the icing on the cake to a complete look & style - it puts most women over the edge once everything else is right.


Choosing a Unique Scent

A woman associates a cologne to the guy who wears it most around her before someone else. If they smell this scent again on some other guy, they’ll most likely be reminded of the first guy they associated the scent to. Thus the small chance that if you wear a popular cologne, it might remind a woman of someone else.

I used to wear ACQUA DI GIO when it first came out - I got nothing but compliments - and my girlfriend at the time loved it. I wore it often until my next girlfriend kept telling me I smelled like this other guy she knew. I stopped wearing it around her because I didn’t want to remind her of some other guy - when she was with me.

Another thing that happens is that when a great new cologne comes onto the market, it blows up and you smell it everywhere. After it’s been exhausted by a certain generation, it trickles down to the younger generation of boys who start picking out colognes for the first time, and who’s female counterparts are less likely to have smelled it somewhere.

Usually people recognize a certain perfume when it first hits the market, and everyone is starting to realize a familiar scent, saying things like “What is that? I’ve been smelling it everywhere. It smells so good.”

Don’t worry too much about smelling like someone else, because most women won’t recognize the cologne unless their boyfriend or someone they see everyday wears it around them - in which case you can easily switch it up with a different cologne. Most men don’t even wear cologne regularly that this rarely even an issue.

However, these are some of the reasons why it’s good to rotate colognes and always be checking out the new colognes that come out, just to keep things fresh and always be smelling good around women. So without further ado, here are some of the newest.


Hot New Colognes:

» L’homme, by Yves Saint Laurent


Fresh woody fragrance playing on contrasts opening with a bright and sparkling freshness. It sports a sharp, slightly sweet floral smell.

» Hugo XY

The cool thing about this cologne is that one of it’s scents are basil. Basil stimulates the brain’s prefrontal cortex, which controls short-term memory, this may actually help the woman recall your name at the bar, according to a study in Critical Reviews in Food Science and Nutrition.

» Fuel For Life by Diesel

Fuel for Life Men is an energetic potion that teases the nose with clarity and modernity yet maintains a classic and sophisticated masculinity. Accents of raspberry give an unexpected signature twist.


Some Classics:

» Le Male Jean by Paul Gaultier

A sweet and woody fragrance with a hint of mint, and a dash of orange and lavender to smooth it out. The cologne is perfect for the winter time when you need somebody to warm you up.

This cologne came out in 1995, and exploded like a bomb around the globe. You would smell this everywhere, and ladies were eating it up. Ladies still love this cologne, so it’s definitely a must have. A lot of reviewers say to spray this sparingly though, keep it down to 3 sprays; any more than that and it’ll become an obnoxious, gauche bully.

» ACQUA DI GIO by GIORGIO ARMANI

ACQUA DI GIO by GIORGIO ARMANI was introduced in 1996. A lot of women love this fresh scent. It has a strong citrus tone combined with a hint of rosemary and offers a spicy aquatic freshness. Recommended for summer days. The one caveat is that since it’s the best-selling cologne on the market, it’s a bit played out. It’s perfect for casual wear, bad for first impressions.

» Cool Water by Davidoff

A classic: cool, refreshing and spicy with a hint of amber and smoothness of lavender. This aroma drives women crazy. A lot of women have great things to say about this cologne. Recommended for daytime, perfect for the office or restaurant.

» L’Eau D’Issey by Issey Miyake

Still one of my favorites, classified as a refined, aquatic fragrance. This masculine scent possesses a blend of citrus and spice combined with lower notes of musk, amber and woods. Women always compliment this cologne, it really arouses your senses when you smell it. Great for first impressions.


Some Top Picks From the Ladies:

» Light Blue by Dolce & Gabbana

Light Blue Pour Homme is Dolce & Gabbana’s newest fragrance for men. Drawing upon their native home of Italy, this innovative design team have captured the sensuality of the Mediterranean. A refreshing blend of citrus notes combines perfectly with masculine woods and subtle spice to create a distinctive fragrance that epitomizes relaxed sophistication. This is really popular with the ladies right now.

» Armani Attitude

After Attitude’s powerful opening, one gets a pleasant whiff of cardamom and lavender (both easily recognizable) before the scent moves into its best (and final) phase. Attitude’s base notes are cedar, patchouli and (I think) vanilla; the base has a “coffee-amber” aroma. All the base notes are smooth, pleasant and slightly sweet.

I remember one of the girls at the perfume shop was holding this to her nose and literally rolling her eyes into the back of her head with ecstasy, she couldn’t stop talking about how much she loves this cologne, and how “It’s the way a real man should smell.” Check it out.

» Pi by Givenchy

This energetic, sensual and woody fragrance contains a dash of tangerine and pine scents. A very popular scent among every woman asked; the men say that this is a favorite of theirs also. This one is great when you plan on making a lasting first impression. It has a strong Vanilla scent in it, which by the way is a scent proven to increase blood flow to the genitals in women. Hmm…

» Touch by Burberry

Thanks to its woody undertones and floral overtones, this cologne lives up to its name. Great for the everyday, casual wear — it has a very “clean” impression like fresh laundry and just out of the shower.

» Armani Black Code

Armani Code Cologne by Giorgio Armani is a fairly new, elegant, sexy, masculine scent that combines sleek seductiveness with sophistication. A fresh, spicy composition which opens on notes of lemon and bergamot, leading to a heart of olive flower. This cologne was one of the best in 2006-2007. This one is a great nightlife scent.


How to Test & Wear Cologne (important)

Not all colognes smell the same on different people. The final scent is a result of the chemistry between the oils on your skin and the cologne. So always test cologne on your skin, not your clothing because it won’t bring out the full effect of the cologne.

The best places to apply cologne is where there is the most body heat. Heat activates the cologne and allows it to last longer, while a colder area will dull the smell. These “hot spots” are the wrists, the neck, on your elbows, and behind your ears.

Don’t spray it directly behind your ear. It’ll come off as too strong in case a women gets closer to your ear in a loud club. Wipe some off your wrist with one finger and dab the space behind your ear.


A Great Conversation Starter and Cologne Test

When picking out the best cologne for yourself, instead of going to the store to get high off a bunch of colognes, try this next time:

Every time you happen to be at the mall or a perfume shop, spray on a new cologne that day, and then ask as many women as you possibly can about their opinion. This is the best way I’ve found to pick out a cologne that gets good reactions. It’s also a great conversation starter with the ladies.

If I happen to be with one of my female friends or my girlfriend at the mall, I’ll stop by the store and ask their opinion on some colognes. This is great because they will give you a straightforward honest opinion.

When asking strangers, Try saying something like:

“Hey, really quick… I know you don’t know me… but I wanted to get an honest opinion about this new cologne my girlfriend just bought me.” Point to wrist* (I wouldn’t ask her to smell your neck or some other weird place, the wrist is more non-threatening)

I like to add “girlfriend” in there because it shows that I’m not trying to pick up the girl or anything but just asking for her honest opinion, because I really do want it and sometimes guys talk to women without an agenda.

Now, if you don’t really care about the “honest opinion” but more about the girl you’re asking, here is how to take it further: tease her about the opinion she gives you. If she gives you a negative opinion, playfully tell her she must have a cold or that she probably sniffed too many markers as a child. If she gives you a positive opinion, bust her on being nervous around you and that she should really give you an honest opinion instead of just being nice like her mommy taught her. Once she laughs you’re in, and then you can continue to run your game.


Remember The Power of Scent

This is not a end-all, be-all article on colognes. These are just some of my favorite new fragrances for men, as well as classics that I’ve worn and tested over the years. And although women really like these particular fragrances for many reasons, there are hundreds of other scents out there you can find to match your personality, style, and occasion. So if you’re missing one of the strongest elements of your wardrobe, or just need something fresh & different, get out there and try some of these colognes.

P.S. - Share some of your own favorite scents, and colognes that women have liked in our community.

Happy Holidays,

Jae

Cracking the Code For Instant Attraction With Women

Published by
Jae
at November 6, 2007 in Stereotypes, Informative and Dating Tips. 9 Comments


The power of a single glance.

Lately, the Kinowear team has been looking into intuition, first impressions, and many other factors that play a role in attraction. We’ve discovered some interesting claims. For example, some studies claim that we can learn just as much about a stranger through observing body language, clothing, and overall image compared to getting to know them personally.

Check out Blink by Malcolm Gladwell for a highly amusing book containing some of the studies regarding this area. It presents numerous accounts and scientific research explaining how quickly following intuition - rather than reviewing loads of information and purposefully taking our time - can lead to better decisions and judgments a lot of the time.

People don’t need to read your autobiography to form sweeping conclusions about you. Often times, one good look is all that’s required. People are lazy, and unforgiving like that.

Whether you like it or not, judgments are passed based on outward appearances all the time. It would probably take an entire day to explain how much is expressed without words in just a matter of seconds.

The idea is this: Back up whatever you want to present to the world with visual proof. Like the old axiom says: people believe what they see.

A man who has an abundance of beautiful women in his life would never dress like a slob, just like a well groomed guy would never have dirty nails.


Our Internal Programming Creates Our First Impressions Of Others

As time goes by, people start to link behavioral patterns and characteristics with certain types of appearances, and all this information is stored into the subconscious part of our minds.

This is why your image can make or break attraction with a women. Within a single glance, she’ll rapidly come up with thousands of little assumptions that she’s built up over her life - patterns of human characteristics linked with appearances stored in her subconscious mind. This happens so fast she can’t even stop to realize what just happened.

We men do the same thing when we see a girl with a short boy-like haircut and baggy pants, walking with a swagger, alongside some dude. Wait, that’s not a dude.

You conclude that they are lesbians, perhaps lovers. But this all happens within a split second, without you even having to stop and think, over the millions of subtle and inexplainable clues that cause you to come to conclusion.

How about when you see that smoking hot blond step out of her white BMW, in her high heels and short mini-skirt, wearing a low cut tank top which has a clear purpose of showing off her obvious breast implants. She struts over toward the backseat of her car and bends over to reach for her over-sized Louis Vutton handbag, revealing a skimpy little thong, barely covering her female genitalia.

Depending on her appearance, we assume she’s a spoiled rich girl, pampered by daddy, or a model or a stripper. We instantly associate her image with specific characteristics and personality traits. This really is instant, and you don’t even have time to think while it happens, it’s simply wired into our brains.

When you first started driving your car, you had to think about everything you were doing. Now the process of driving is completely automatic, with some of you text messaging or reading the paper while doing so.

The brain saves us time by quickly identifying the system of patterns that we are presented with.

Now that’s very interesting and all, but how does that relate to attraction?

Well, because we can instantly associate behavioral patterns and traits to certain appearances, we can capitalize on this by presenting an image that’s chock full of attractive patterns.

Let’s go over a small list of things that men automatically screen for, before attraction happens with a woman they meet:

Over time our subconscious minds have been developed to flash through a long list of screening, all within a fraction of a second…


1. We look at her overall hygiene and how well groomed she is

  • Hair - What is the condition of her hair? Does it look sleek? Shiny? Soft? Or is it nappy, dry, oily?
  • Skin - Does she have perfect, clear skin? Does she have acne? Does she have a healthy tan? Does she look pale? Does her skin look dry like sandpaper or touchable and soft?
  • Makeup - Does she wear any makeup? Is it just enough that it accentuates all the right features? Or is it too much? Is she just naturally beautiful underneath? Or is she covering up a disaster? What would she look like in the morning without any makeup?
  • Teeth - Does she have a pretty smile? Or does she have crooked teeth? Do her teeth look clean and white?
  • Overall Hygiene - Does she look clean or dirty?
  • Nails - Does she pay attention to the details? Are her nails painted? Are her nails clean? Are her nails too long?



2. We look at what she is wearing

  • The type of clothing - What do her clothes say about her? Is her outfit conservative or showy? Is she tomboyish? Artistic? Classy? Rich? Poor? Nerdy?
  • How much skin she shows - Is she showing off her cleavage? Does she seem desperate for attention? How short is her skirt? Does she show a lot of skin? What part of her body does she like to show off? Her legs? Chest?Back? Arms? Neck area?


3. Body Language

  • How she carries herself - Does she walk with a confident gait? Does she move slow and deliberately with poise? Does she look rushed and frustrated? What is she currently doing? Does she do it with grace or is she clumsy?
  • Her display of emotions - What kind of expression does she have? Is she beaming with joy? Does she look depressed and miserable?

This tells us about her outlook on life, and the lifestyle she lives.


4. We look at her body shape, and features

Every guy has their own list, but these are the basics of what flash through most men’s minds:

  • Body shape - Does she have a sexy body? An hourglass figure?
  • Health - Does she clearly work out? Is she a healthy weight for her height? Is she overweight? Too skinny? What does that say about her eating habits? Her self-discipline? Her drive to motivate herself for her health?
  • Features - She have big boobs? Are they too big or too small? Or just the right size? Does she have a flat stomach? Does she have love handles? Does she have a nice ass? Does she have beautiful long legs?


But this is just the tip of the iceberg, I feel like I managed to succeed in describing only one room of the Empire State Building.


Why We Trust Our Intuition

The point is that ALL those YEARS of ogling women has built up your intuition skills. Along with this tiny list, you virtually make a million other judgments about a woman through that one glance.

It’s literally like this: you approach a woman, and BAM, she already believes she knows everything about you just by glancing you over.

REALLY take advantage of this through the way you dress and carry yourself, and get her attracted to you before you even open your mouth.

Ever hear a woman tell her friends, “There is just something about this guy, that I can’t quite describe, but he just gets me so hot.”

This is the magical subconscious at work.

Alright, so since we’re cracking the code, we’ll dive into how you can exactly capitalize on this.

What I will teach you will immediately synchronizes with a woman’s subconscious programming, and directly trigger all the attraction switches in her mind.


What you must do is dress in a way that will EASILY be categorized

It’s quite simple, do your best and pay attention to what makes her see you as a sexy man, down to the minute details. So start by examining what women find attractive, and think about how to project every single point of attraction through your image.

Let’s be real, no man is able avoid the instant attraction that a stripper or a porn star sparks. Even those mere words are linked to hundreds of attractive associations that have been programmed into our brains since we were little boys. Everything about them just oozes “sex,” and that word alone also sends a rush through our bodies.

So whenever you see women that look like…

There are a million TRIGGERS that activate in the subconscious part of your brain that spark INSTANT attraction.

It’s true, you were attracted weren’t you? Of course you were. No shame in that.

Once we see a women, we instantaneously take her through a web of more than a million categorized compartments that produces the conclusive beliefs of who she is.

I overly illustrated these points to help really understand so that you’ll always remind yourself how quickly women will correspondingly judge you.

NOTE: I’m not saying what you say and do after the initial impression does not matter. It does, but why not get a head start by capitalizing on this powerful phenomenon, setting your desired lens filter through which she’ll view you throughout the rest of the interaction.

The power of a single article of clothing (by Theory)

Just to illustrate how powerful image is. Let’s imagine this scenario: You’re sitting in a cafe, and in comes this dude in a conservative-looking suit, white collar shirt, and plain red tie. Your mind immediately gets to work and starts making assumptions: he must be a business professional - and with that stereotype alone, you begin to fill in the blanks of this stranger with business professional stereotypes. He’s probably a family man, a middle-manager driving his Toyota Camry through the rat race, conservative in values like his plain red tie. Fine. However, suddenly he turns, and you notice what seems to be a lip ring on his lower lip. Your mind jumps, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON…suddenly all your assumptions start to crumble, and your mind races to make sense of this chaotic, clashing image. Within the span of a few seconds, one piece of jewelry has disrupted your initial impression. You start going through different stereotypes…maybe he’s some kind of rocker, or perhaps, an organized crime boss?

You see, our minds are not designed to deal with chaos. It is always working to make sense of the world around us. Often times there is not enough information, so our mind goes deep into our subconscious to search for stereotypes and generalization to fill in the blanks - our minds are often forced to EXTEND what we see to fill in the gaps and organize it into as coherent a message as possible. This happens in a matter of seconds.

Just like in the illustration above, you have to remember that EVERYTHING IS LOADED. A lip piercing is not just a silver piece of jewelry. It’s a symbol for badass, punk, rockstar, gangster, or whatever associations your mind has established as a result of your personal experiences, the media, and society as a whole.

So be EASILY CATEGORIZABLE.

I talked a lot about the way men categorize women, so how does that translates into the way women categorize you?


Pick An Attractive Stereotype

To be easily categorizable the KEY is to find an attractive stereotype.

Attractive stereotypes have been programmed into a women’s minds through all the media, magazines, and cultural conditioning.

Make it your goal to hit all the sexy characteristics of one attractive stereotype that women already have sexy associations to.

All of the alpha characteristics embedded in certain stereotypes, will INSTANTLY get a powerful reaction from women because they can instantly categorize you as attractive or not. There is no room for confusion about what kind of guy you are, because with all the stereotypical associations, it’s pretty much BAM, you’re either hot or not. I know some guys who have gotten instant make-outs by taking advantage of this.

Here are some of the styles that will instantly get categorized…


The Nice Guy

AVOID dressing like the quintessential nice guy:

How boring.

Attractive women are approached by these boring guys all the time, and they associate this look to wussies. There is NOTHING intriguing or sexy about this type of guy to a woman. Women DEFINITELY don’t feel that powerful gut level attraction for nice, sweet, needy guys.

You can settle for the small possibility that she might like your personality after spending loads of time with her, but why would you do that when you can create a instantaneous, strong response at first glance?

So avoid wearing free t-shirts from concerts, sweepstakes, or work. If you have even a tiny thought telling you that your look is probably outdated or unattractive, it’s most likely true.

No attention to fashion shows you don’t care about your appearance, which implies that you probably don’t have many women sexually interested in you (lowering your social value).

The LEAST you can do is go to a trendy clothing store and copy the look that’s recently displayed on one of their manikins.

A lot of nice guys argue that they are just being themselves, but what they fail to see is that in order for your LIFE to change, YOU have to change.

Are you the star of your own script or an extra? Most people make themselves the guy in the background. Be the star of your life, and start dressing like it.

I say BECOME the best version of yourself that you can possibly be, and even then, constantly challenge yourself to try and grow bigger that what that is.
If someone keeps taking the same lame actions, they’ll usually get the same lame results.

It doesn’t mean you have to dress like a bad guy, or an asshole, just avoid looking like a wuss.


The Rockstar

The rockstar image will get a strong reaction from a lot of women. Some reactions may not be so great, but some will be amazing. Hey, good reactions are better than none.

The rock star looks comes with a bad ass attitude. It screams I don’t give a crap about whatever happens, I’m here to party and have fun. It’s wild and eccentric, and women get a rush just being around these type of men.

Women picture what a man would be like in bed by looking at the way he carries himself, just as we men do with women. Your personality will shine through your look, your confidence, your dominant attitude, and be projected into the bedroom. Are you going to be wild, dominant, and fun? Or will you be a chode?

There is a lot of sexuality associated with a rocker, so remember that. If you perfect this look, it probably won’t be long till you learn that you’re able go up to some girls, and just make out with them within a couple of minutes. The attraction switches that automatically go off are amazing.

The rocker usually has an eccentric hairstyle, usually dyed. Think leather, chains, piercings, and other rocker jewelry. The black nails and tattoos the guy pictured above convey a rebel attitude, but you don’t have to have tattoos to pull off the look. Get temporaries if you want to for the night out. For reference, J Dog from the VH1 show The Pick Up Artist pulls off a very complete and stylish rockstar image.


The Metrosexual

What is a metrosexual?

n. A man (esp. a heterosexual man) whose lifestyle, spending habits and concern for personal appearance are likened to those considered typical of a fashionable, urban, homosexual man.

Many accuse these men of being too “feminine” because they like to shop a lot and get facials; which are not considered manly. Who gives? A lot of women find these men irresistible. Anything to get away from the surroundings of smelly, unkempt, unrefined men.

These men always look freshly pampered. Always well groomed and fashionably dressed.

At first glance, David Beckham may seem like he’s dressed like a “nice guy” here, but his overall appearance is far from it. His tattoos instantly negate his nice guy image and instead, portray a level of “bad boy.” His faux hawk hairstyle gives him an extra stylish edge, while his designer aviator sunglasses accentuate his power source, giving off an aura of intensity. His shoulder strap bag translates into elegance and in vogue. His loosened buttons represents his lax personality and his expensive looking watch shows that he likes to flash his money around, showing the ladies he’s got resources to take care of them.


The Hip Hop Artist

The hip-hop culture is bigger than ever now and women associate a lot of masculinity, fun, and dominant attitude to this look. What’s recently in fashion with this style is bright colors. Colorful sneakers that stand out. Flashy jewelry and eccentric accessories. The baseball cap is a staple hip-hop style item, along with the long chain and tattoo art.

There is also the “thug” look, but most guys tend to take this to mean a wife beater with pants hanging below your ass. To attract women of higher caliber with this image, there are still ways to dress this way and look damn good while you’re at it. Go for the high-end version of thug. This will attract classier women. You show a real sense for fashion, while presenting all the alpha characteristics of a gangster. Think Pdiddy, and Jay-Z.


The Wall Street Baller

There is always the obvious benefits of being associated with lots of money. These guys look like wall street brokers, they dress up in expensive suits and shirts with french cuffs. It screams, “Look at me, I’m a GQ millionaire.”

If you like to work hard and make lots of money, enjoy fine dining - and you’re innately a classically refined gentleman who likes to hold their wine glass with a napkin - all while looking for a classy woman wanting to share in the pampered lifestyle, then this look is perfect for you.


The Surfer

Tim from Real Social Dynamics exhibits the surfer look here.

The stereotype of a surfer guy is the he’s very laid back, does not have a care in the world, and lives in the passion of the moment. True surfers will tell you that surfing is really a lifestyle, and that the way they tackle the waves, by having fun and enjoying the ride, is the same attitude in which they live. Some women just love this attitude and how these guys carry themselves. Some just love the sexy look.

It’s best if you have a surfer’s body for this, so it’s highly recommended that you hit the gym or actually surf to look the part. Show a lot of skin, like you would at the beach, similar to the way Tim wears his low cut v-neck shirt - pictured above.

I picked up surfing when I stayed in California last summer, and I have to tell you there are very few moments where you get a rush like the one you get when riding a great wave. Immerse yourself in the culture, and you’ll begin to naturally adopt some of the alpha mentality, and come to understand the fun attitude that you’re swimming in.

There are countless other attractive stereotypes (e.g. urban couture, clubhead, GQ model, etc.), go for what naturally pulls you and test it out. I’ll go more in depth into specific stereotypes and tell you what you can wear and put together in a series of articles coming soon.


Take The Necessary Steps

So before choosing your “flavor,” notice the guys out there who play on these attractive stereotypes - if there are any - and look for them daily. Notice what their image presents about them. Does their appearance have good associations or bad? Masculine or wimpy? Keep notes on everything you see and come to realize in your mind.

Also look for the articles of clothing or accessories that really accentuate the stereotype or persona. Is it the baggy True Religion jeans? Diesel biker jacket? the swiss-made watch? Snakeskin boots? lip-piercing? Always be on the lookout for the loaded symbols that really define the overall image. Caveat: keep your overall image complete & congruent.

It’s a process, don’t get frustrated, just keep exploring and developing it.

Which one is closest to your own personality? Do you know anybody with that look? Find someone with a similar body type, model them and try it for thirty days.

Or if you’d just like to experiment a little bit, go out and get yourself a LOADED item such as a lip piercing, some colored contact lenses, or a standout blazer. Take note of the responses you get from women. Ignore the comments from your male friends, unless you’re into that sort of thing. All that matters is you getting better responses from women.


Image Consulting

As an image coach, I help my clients cover all the necessary areas after a complete analysis and go through detailed solutions towards creating the strongest first impression in a woman’s mind, activating the code that sets off instant attraction.

Have you seen our coaching page yet?

http://www.kinowear.com/blog/image-consultation/

Also, visit the Style Critique section of the forums for a personalized critique of your current wardrobe or appearance from other users and coaches.

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