The right shirt is the cornerstone of a man’s wardrobe. After all, men don’t have too much choice with clothing. It’s mostly a variation of shirts, pants, jackets, etc.
It’s confusing enough to work with those basics, imagine what women have to deal with…
Today we’re going to talk about collared shirts and casual ways to wear them.
Sometimes a man wants to avoid collared shirts that make him look he just got out of work, and wear them in ways that give him a laid-back aura.
Let’s get to it.
Short Sleeve Collared Shirts
Surrounded by tees and tank-tops during the warm weather, you can stand out with a bit more class and elegance by opting for a collared short sleeve instead.
A short sleeve shirt naturally brings with it a casual aura that long sleeves (even when the sleeves are rolled up) can’t match. At the same time, you keep the classic touch of a dress shirt with the collar.
Variegated Stripes
Variegated stripes are associated with nights out so they’re more appropriate for such. Try wearing this Italian-style pattern underneath a blazer or a sweater. Just be careful about wearing it without a blazer in the clubs, because you may look like a carbon copy of many guys there.
I love these shirts because the color patterns can take the place of a tie and still pack the same punch. Without the tie, you look more relaxed and ready for some fun, but the shirt still adds an accent to your outfit.
In the case that you do plan on wearing a variegated striped shirt with a tie, go with a solid tie to maintain balance.
You don’t want pattern on pattern - it’ll get too busy.
Checks
A gingham shirt is a great way to bring life to a suit. It’s also a great choice to wear on top of jeans for a casual date.
Heck, it’s a lot more interesting than the pinstriped shirt that every other guy is wearing and certainly more interesting than a blue collared shirt.
Roll up the sleeves and you’re good to go - all style, no fuss.
Military Shirt
This military-inspired shirt is seen as a more fashionable button-down. It’s perfectly casual and gives your frame some structure and strength as well.
Take it upscale with a pair of dress pants, keep it cool with a pair of broken in chinos, or rock it with your favorite pair of well-fitting jeans.
Shirts that Rock
These type of shirts make you lose all association with collared shirts and seriousness. With embroidery and art, it becomes less formal and gives the collared shirt more bite. The typical rules start to blur when you bring up the rocker archetype, so don’t hesitate to get expressive with the details.
Ways to Wear It
1. Top It Off With A Sweater
As it starts to get chilly out, you can pair a dress shirt with a cardigan or a sweater and bring it down to laid-back status.
I recommend using a colored shirt underneath instead of plain white so that you don’t look so much like a math teacher. You can also use this opportunity throw in some bold colors (such as pink, purple, lime green) to the dress shirt.
2. Are You a Tucker?
To tuck or not to tuck? That is the big question. Especially when it comes to whether or not you want your look to seem casual.
Dress shirts are almost always made to be tucked in. The reason for this is so that when you sit down, the tail lies under your rear and it prevents it from riding up or coming untucked.
If you’re wearing a suit, for goodness sakes tuck in your dress shirt. But on a casual level, you’re either a tucker or not.
Some casual dress shirts will come in already come in a short cut and these are okay (and meant to be) to be worn outside of your pants.
I see a lot of guys on the streets doing the half-tuck. Tucking it in up front, leaving it out in the back. Try to avoid this. There are very few people who can pull it off. If you insist on leaving it out in the back, the shirt has to be short enough that you don’t have a whole bunch of fabric flying back there.
Some people may want to tuck their shirt in up front to show off a fancy belt - if your belt is that cool, you might as well tuck it in all the way.
For those who are avid untuckers, be warned that untucking your dress shirt can make you look shorter. Not to mention looking like a slob. If you’re a really short guy, you’d be better off tucking your shirt in, it’ll give the illusion that your legs are longer than they really are.
If you insist on leaving your shirt out, I suggest getting your shirt cut shorter by a tailor to look more flattering.
3. Loose Another Button
How low can you go?
Depending on how you’re feeling, at least unbutton down to the second button from the collar. I wouldn’t go any further unless you want to display that you’re ready to take it off.
4. Leave it Open
You don’t always have to button up, a button-up. Leave it open and show off a graphic tee or a low-cut undershirt.
Conclusion
Casual doesn’t always have to equate to a t-shirt or polo, bring in some casual collared shirts into your wardrobe so you have a lot more to work with.
Next time you’re meeting some friends straight off of work, you’ll know what to do in order to avoid looking like it ~ (while turning some heads while your at it).
And remember, whether you’re dressing up or down, a stylish man knows the ins and outs of taking any piece from his wardrobe and matching it to the occasion.
Stay sharp,
Jae
p.s. - Leave your questions and comments down below. I’d love to hear what you guys have to say.
Also: We’re just weeks away from announcing the release of our first ebook. For up-to-date information, make sure you’re on the Kinowear List:
One of the surest ways to display confidence is by having a strong, clear voice that isn’t afraid of being heard.
You don’t have to sound like Barry White or Don LaFontaine (the man who does almost all of movie trailer voices today), but if you have a high pitched voice, it wouldn’t hurt to deepen it a bit more (to sound more masculine and strong), but not so much that it’s obvious you’re trying hard. More importantly though, you should talk in a volume that can move easily across a room, and in a clear tone that everyone can understand.
You’d be surprised how many guys have a problem with low volume, mumbling, or being monotone. It’s really not an area guys pay attention to or make an effort to fix.
Next time you’re in a social setting, look for the guys who have poor vocal projection. Pinpoint what it conveys about that person.
Think about this: Would you be attracted to a woman who sounded like a man? In the same way, most women are not going to be attracted to a man who sounds like a woman.
What impression would you have of woman you just met if she spoke in a weak voice that you could barely hear? Shy? Insecure?
It doesn’t matter what you say if people can’t hear you! Weak voices can give the impression of fear and anxiety, two impressions you don’t want to give.
Why Most People Aren’t Loud Enough
Most people speak quietly as a result of being brought up that way. We’re told from a young age not to be loud or rude, and respect the people around us. This is fine, but it doesn’t help with picking up women.
Almost anyone can speak louder. It’s nothing but a mental block that people have, not a physical one. You just have to become more comfortable projecting your voice.
When I was first working on my voice, I realized that the only thing holding me back was that I cared what other people thought of me. I worried that other people would listen in on my conversations. But I realized I was just being stupid and paranoid because I would never see these people again - why did it matter if they heard me? It was because I was always taught to be mindful of other people, and so I grew up talking in a “considerate volume.” Now if I see that people are listening, I know that they’re probably enjoying listening to my conversations anyway because they are chock full of entertainment and insight. Sometimes I catch people listening in and at the same time smiling, laughing, or nodding their head.
Don’t get my wrong, I’m not saying that you should be running around speaking in a unnecessarily loud volume. The goal is to just have strong voice that the person listening can clearly understand.
Do you frequently have people saying, “what?” or asking you to repeat yourself?
Whenever I tell my clients they need to increase the volume of their voice and project more, they feel as if they are yelling when in fact one wouldn’t even consider it “moderate” or normal volume.
We all have an idea in our own minds of what is loud and what isn’t. To quiet people, normal volume is like yelling to them.
I recently met a guy who had a booming voice that shot across the room. It wasn’t even that loud but just his normal volume. I was reminded of how much more I could still project my voice.
If you have a weak voice, it might even mean that you’re not talking enough throughout the day. Have you ever gone throughout a whole day without saying a word, and then all of a sudden you bump into a friend, only to let out a squeak of a hello?
If you’re at a party or a club, you have to speak even louder than you should during normal hours. I’ve seen men approach women with their weak projection, and then see them lean in and repeat themselves because the woman can’t make out a thing they’re saying…
Not only does this put the guy into the reactive role, but now she’s taking the role of being the one screening to hear what he has to say to her.
A man should be HEARD the first time. That way, she’s the one responding to HIM.
A caveat about clubs/bars: some guys may try to speak in an overly deep voice while in a nightclub. The problem with this is that a deep voice will often just blend in with the bass of the music in the club. You want a pitch that pierces through the thumping base, while not being too high in pitch. You can only gauge this through experience so go out and experiment.
What You Need To Do To Build Your Voice
Wherever you are, practice throughout the day. Whether it’s greeting a cashier or calling your friends while you’re driving, practice speaking in a clear and loud voice. Consistent practice is the only way to develop the habit of better vocal projection. This isn’t something you can just “turn on” when you’re in a club or out with friends. You have to warm it up.
To develop good voice projection, remember this principle: your strength doesn’t depend on your mouth or throat, but on your lungs. In other words, when people yell until their throat is sore and they can’t speak anymore, they’re just using their throat voice (just clanging their vocal cords together) and not using the air support they could for a full, strong voice.
To develop that support:
Sitting straight, place one hand on your belly and another behind your back opposite your hand on your belly.
Breath in, attempting to move both hands out as far as possible (it takes a lot of strength to get your hand on your back to move; don’t worry if it doesn’t). This is belly breathing. Notice how it feels; this is how you want to breath when you speak in order to use your full lung capacity and get the fullest, strongest, and richest sound.
Exhale quickly, but make no sound as you do so. Sound is an indication of tension.
Breath in again. Now, when you exhale, say the first letter of the alphabet.
Continue until you reach Z. As you progress through the alphabet, pretend that with each letter you are speaking to a target farther and farther away. Pause if you get lightheaded, and wait a few seconds before you go again. By the time you reach the end, you should be very loud and strong. If you’re still breathing right, you will be stronger than you could be breathing normally.
These exercises, done often, will increase your effectiveness both as a speaker and as a person as you increase your ability and capacity.
Warm up your voice before you’re going to need it. If you know you’re about to go into a noisy environment where you’ll have to shout to be heard — a noisy club, or a loud factory floor — do some humming exercises, or talk to yourself out loud, to get blood flowing to your vocal cords.
I just always remember to pick a target 25-50 feet away and “project” as though my voice was pitched for that object alone. You will be surprised at how much voice you have and how far it actually carries.
Also, remember that voice projection should depend on the size of the group and the topic being discussed. The smaller the group of people, the lower the volume should be.
Do You Sound Too Monotone?
The clients I have met that DO actually have good volume, and talk in a clear voice, usually still have the small problem of speaking without emotion.
If you have a problem conveying emotion in your voice, remember that fluctuation is key.
Move the PITCH of your voice, when you talk. Make some words HIGHER pitched, others lower. That means that some parts of each phrase should be LOUDER, with emphasis, and others softer.
Finally, fluctuate speed to draw listeners in, with pauses and lengthening words.
If you want a better idea of what you sound like to other people, simply record your voice to a recorder or a video camera. This helped me a lot when working on my voice tonality and pitch.
Pretend You’re Al Pacino
Focus on the way Al Pacino projects his voice in the beginning of this clip. He’s actually speaking in a pretty normal volume. He only starts to raise his voice as everyone else in the room gets louder. And despite his signature hoarse and raspy voice, notice how it resonates.You can tell that his voice isn’t coming from a small air pocket in his throat, but from the depths of his core.
This is the kind of vocal projection that defines an alpha male who not only leads an interaction, but literally draws others in with his voice.
Go out and make it a habit to practice speaking more clearly with friends. By doing this, you’ll build a voice that displays a confident attitude - one that shows that everything you say is worth being heard.
This is what TOTAL image development is about.
Jae.
Also: For up-to-date announcements about Kinowear’s upcoming e-book release, subscribe to Kinowear’s Newsletter:
(This man was recently cured of the Bad Fit Disease)
One of the most effective ways to improve your image is by taking a long and hard look at the way all of your clothing fit you, and never wearing anything that doesn’t fit correctly.
Most guys are walking around in ill-fitting clothing, and I’m writing this article to start an awareness campaign.
Awareness of what?
The “Bad Fit Disease,” or “BFD” for short.
This is a disease that we need to fight before it turns into a full-fledged epidemic.
I’m ruthless about fit when it comes to my clients, because I know how much a difference it makes in a man’s image. A great fit that molds to your body can make inexpensive pieces look like designer pieces, and take you from looking like a slob to the well-groomed man.
Here is a quick look at some bad fit victims followed by pictures of the cured…
Bad fit
Baggy arms, sagging sides, ballooning back - just too much excess fabric.
Most guys wear their shirts like this and think it’s a pretty good fit. Just because a shirt may fit your neck doesn’t mean it fits the rest of your body.
Good Fit
This shirt fits his torso—not just his neck. The shirt should be neither too loose nor too tight. It should be just skimming your body. Less excess fabric means that it stays tucked in better and there isn’t any bunching around your midsection.
Bad Fit
Always make sure you get your REAL size when it comes to your pants. Most guys wear their pants way too big.
Make sure the rise is as close to your crotch without cutting off circulation to you family jewels.
The key is to make sure it almost hugs your ass. For those of you who don’t have much of a butt, having a baggier fit just makes it look even more like you don’t have anything there.
Unless you choose to wear baggier jeans in order to create a deliberate style effect, it’s time to lose them.
Good Fit
Your jeans don’t have to be skin tight, but there shouldn’t be too much extra fabric around your thighs or at your feet. Stick two fingers in between the pants waistline and your hip (perpendicularly) to check if you’re wearing the right size. You shouldn’t be able to fit in more fingers than that.
Bad Fit
A bad blazer or any jacket for that matter is going to feel like it’s a hand me down from your bigger cousin.
Good Fit
A great jacket fit should slightly hug you in the arms, and shoulders without cutting off circulation.
Do Your Part
Help Kinowear eradicate BFD (Bad Fit Disease) throughout the world.
Start with your own wardrobe, and discard or donate any clothes that do not fit you correctly. You MUST clear your closet of anything that doesn’t fit right.
Here are some specific tips on determining a good fit, posted on our community forums: Click here
If you need some help deciding whether or not something is a bad fit or good fit, take a quick photo of yourself wearing the item and get tons of feedback from coaches and hundreds of stylish guys in our community here.
In the game of attraction, one of the critical points that separate the master seducers from the average guy is great eye contact.
It doesn’t matter who you are or how good you are with women, you can reduce blowouts or rejections by having better eye contact skills.
It has been said that a man’s eyes are the gateway to his soul, and by looking into them you can see the strength of his spirit.
What do you think women see when they look into your eyes?
The First Test of Strength
When you meet a woman for the first time, you must maintain steady eye contact.
An easy way to do this is to focus on just one eye. I usually just take my right eye and look at her right eye. This makes it easier to focus without darting back and forth.
When you’re at a party and you approach a girl you like, it’s important that you try keep consistent steady eye contact until you see some signs of attraction. This doesn’t mean keep your eyes totally glued on hers, but keep your gaze on her as much as possible. Every time you break your eye contact, it gives the woman the opportunity to decide where or not she’ll keep listening or just leave.
It’s the same thing when it comes to an aggressive dog — if you stand firm and look a dog right at his face, the dog will bark, but will not charge you. The dog will recognize that your frame is stronger than his, and will back down. It may even let you pet it. However if you look away or turn away, the dog will often continue it’s aggression.
The Screening Frame
When you look a woman in the eye while speaking, the woman often feels that you are screening her. This may be subconscious, but it sets off an auto-pilot response to start self-monitoring. This self-monitoring may often show in the form of preening (fixing her hair, touching her face, etc.) Regardless, she will feel like she’s put in an intense spotlight, so bright that she can barely pay attention to what you’re saying.
You notice this a lot when you give women solid eye contact and they utter “what…” followed by a nervous, self-monitoring smile. If you do it right, she’ll often feel an momentary surge of inexplicable attraction for you.
This is how powerful eye contact is. You can use eye contact alone without saying anything special and get a woman attracted.
Notice how Mickey Rourke doesn’t take his eyes off Kim Basinger and follows her eyes even as she tries to look away. This is a very seductive technique. He’s not glaring at her, but displaying his confidence and interest through his eyes.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.”
This is why when you first meet a woman you must stick to strong eye contact so that you can control the frame.
The point here is not to make her feel inadequate, but come off as a strong and dominant alpha male, not the weak beta male who darts his eyes away nervously in the presence of a woman.
Your eye contact, or lack thereof, will tell a woman volumes about you. It shows her that you are grounded, confident, and completely secure. You don’t care what others think of you. You become the judge. You’re showing that you’re screening her to see whether she’s good enough for you.
If you can’t look a woman in the eye and maintain eye contact, she will see you as insecure and nervous, and she’ll be the one screening you.
Attraction Points
If you’re at a party and you see a girl you like, she might catch you looking at her from a distance. At this moment, you must never look away first. Because the moment you decide to approach her, she may not be as receptive towards you, because she has already written you off as a bit unsure of yourself. You’ve given her the upper hand.
Most guys will look at a woman, and then when she looks back, immediately look away. It’s a natural response that is easily built since childhood. We see little kids do this all the time – they stare at people and when they get caught they quickly dart their eyes away to the ceiling or something else.
It’s rare to have strong eye contact unless you were raised that way or worked on it at some point in your life.
Do not give her eye contact one hundred percent of the time. That’s just creepy.
When she’s talking to you and you’re listening, you should make eye contact about seventy percent of the time. The rest of the time you can look around you, left, right, or up - but don’t look down - it’s a sign of submission and nervousness.
When you’re the one talking try to give her strong eye contact, except when you’re thinking about something - it’s natural to look away.
Once your eyes meet with a woman, wait until she looks away first. If she looks into your eyes for more than three seconds, it may be an invitation to approach her. If she looks up at you again, smile, wave, or go up and say hi. Just the fact that you didn’t dart your eyes will set you apart from all the other guys.
Remember, too much eye contact and you could be seen as aggressive. You want to show her that you can maintain solid eye contact on the first meet, when you’re introducing yourself, but after that you can look away.
Sometimes it’s good to look away from a woman, just at the right time – the best time is when she’s clearly attracted to you.
When I’m at the club talking to a girl and it’s clear she’s attracted, sometimes I’ll look around at the club, and it’ll make her try harder to get my attention. When you do this it shows her that she’s not THAT special and you could move on at any time. It shows her she’s not your only hope and you know you have other options, this will increase her attraction for you.
How to Tell She’s Attracted Through Her Eyes
The advantage of keeping good eye contact is that you can also be scanning for cues to see whether a girl is attracted to you. The eyes are windows to the soul and are one of the most accurate ways of telling if she is attracted to you.
A girl will start to gaze deeper into your eyes as she gets more attracted.
If a woman is truly attracted or aroused, she’ll maintains eye contact throughout and her pupils will become dilated. Our eyes do this when we’re focused on something and we want to observe more of it.
Check her blink rate. If she’s attracted her blink rate may go up slightly and she may flutter her eyes more often.
After you’ve build some rapport, and you catch her looking at your mouth, she might be wondering what it’d be like to kiss you.
She can also start to subconscious bite her lips, wetting them, or start showing more of her tongue.
If she winks at you in the middle of a conversation or even from a distance, she’s obviously interested you.
Also watch if she twirls her hair around her fingers or perhaps strokes her hair lightly with her hand while maintaining eye contact.
If you know that she’s attracted through most of these cues, then you need to act.
Something I personally do to create some more sexual tension through is reply to these cues with some deep gazing. Refrain from saying anything at one point for a good five to seven seconds, while gazing into her eyes with a “you’re a bad girl” squint. Add a slight smirk on your face.
She’ll then probably ask, “what?” like she has something on her face. Stare at her left eye, then her right, then down at her lips, then back up at her eyes. As she talks, keep doing this with your eyes and it’ll make it clear to her what you want. If you catch her looking at your lips at any point here, this is when you start moving in for a kiss. If she says “what are you looking at?” in a weirded-out tone, just say “I just noticed something about you…but I’m not going to tell you,” and look away, or say “not much,” with a smile. She’ll probably respond with something like hit you playfully, creating even more attraction.
Practicing Your Eye Contact
Here are some ways you can practice good eye contact:
1) Lock eyes with yourself in a mirror
Practice this everyday, until you can hold this for a few it minutes without changing your expression.
2) Practice on people you pass on the street
If you’re really bad with automatically darting your eyes when someone looks at you, you can first start out with mirrored or dark sunglasses. This way, when you’re tempted to automatically look away, you’re always reminded that they can’t see your eyes.
Observe how other people manage their own eye contact and take mental notes of what it communicates. This way you’ll start to see and really understand what type of eye movements show nervousness, and what type of eye contact shows strength or confidence.
Without any sunglasses, try to make eye contact with every woman you see on the street. Hold it for as long as you can. Give them a nod and a smile if that helps. You should practice this until you get to the point where you can lock looks with them until they break it first. In most cases, she’ll look down from your stare, which is a sign of submission. (Not always a sign of interest, mind you, but it is a good sign of your dominance.) Learn to enjoy it when a woman looks away in embarrassment.
3) Practice on Store Clerks, Cafe Baristas, and Bar Staff
If you are having trouble staring directly in someone’s eyes, practice on baristas, store clerks, and bartenders. If you’re ordering something, look them straight in the eye with a smile and tell them what you want. This is a good way to practice because they won’t be weirded out by it - it will actually make their day. Most people don’t look at them in the eye at all, and they feel like non-existent beings that nobody ever acknowledges. Look them in the eye, smile, and say thank you. Usually when I do this the barista or bartender busts into a smile. It’s so rare for them that they sometimes even give me the drink on the house. Try it!
Tying it all together
Something fun you can do at a bar with your eyes is to look above a girl at the ceiling like there is something hanging over her, or look past her over her shoulder. If she sees you looking, she’ll first look at what you’re staring at, and then she’ll turn back to you. Once she turns back to you and stares at you, this is when you bring your eyes back to her. Now she’s the one who got caught checking you out first. You can then go up to her, introduce yourself, and bust her for checking you out. She’ll most likely laugh. Take it from there.
When you are trying to attract someone and show them you are interested you can talk and listen with your eyes. When a person you like is speaking use the whole face as your focal point. Look at their eyes, listen to what they are saying, smile in the appropriate places, raise your eyebrows in the appropriate places.
If you feel you are staring at them move to their other features such as their lips, their cheeks, their nose and then back to their eyes. Smiling when listening to someone is a great way to show you are interested in them, obviously don’t smile when they have just told you their pet died last night. You have to listen with your ears as well as listening with your eyes (yes I did mean listening with your eyes, you listen to someone’s body language with your eyes).
You don’t want to stand there like a fool and make your goal to just focus on staring into the girl’s eyes - remember to listen to her if she’s speaking. Look for cues as well when you’re talking to her.
The basic components of eye behavior are easy to master, once you know how they work. It is important not to make eye contact look deliberate or controlled. The goal is always to use your eyes in a relaxed way so that you never make others feel uncomfortable.
Here’s an extreme (and hilarious) example of crazy eye contact from the always alpha, Robbie Williams:
Kinowear gets loads of questions about how to shop for clothes without breaking the bank.
With a little smart shopping and a change of approach, there are some practical tips that you can use to save money when shopping. Here they are:
1. Go For The Classics
Fortunately, men can wear something that’s several years old and not look dated, because
most of what’s out there for men is classically styled. Fill most of your wardrobe with timeless staples instead of trendy ones, and you’ll get the most out of your clothing.
Here are some staples that have been adopted into the eternal wardrobe of men:
White button down shirts
The trench coat
Black suit
Sports Jacket/Blazer
Overcoat
Zip-up hoodie (great for layering and lounging)
Oxfords (classic dress shoes)
Polo
Ties
White T-shirt
Sunglasses
Jeans (a lighter casual pair and a darker dressier pair)
Watch
Black belt
You can create so many combinations of outfits by stocking up on these staples and mixing and matching them together. For example you can wear a colorful polo underneath your blazer, with dark jeans and your oxfords. You can also wear a white dress shirt underneath a zip-up hoodie with light casual jeans and some stylish sneakers. Learn to mix and match and create multiple looks.
2. Only Buy What You Need
Sounds like common sense, but when you start shopping for less and learning how to get bargains, you can easily get sucked into wanting to buy more things. You’re under the illusion that you’re saving money, but in reality you’re not.
Whether you’re spending a hundred dollars on one shirt, or buying twenty items for five dollars, you’re still spending a hundred dollars.
Ask yourself if you REALLY need what you are buying. Would you but it even if it wasn’t on sale? Favor quality over quantity.
When you absolutely need something, find the most flattering thing that’s on sale. If nothing is marked down from full price, make do with what you have until it does.
3. Buy Socks and Underwear For Less
Unless you’re ridiculously rich, and love to remind yourself of this fact every time you take of your shoes or go to the bathroom, save money on socks and underwear.
Save money for the pieces where the premium in price will really communicate or show in the quality. Capitalize on the fact that when it comes to underwear, socks, solid colored tees, or even belts, you can find them really cheap and get away with nobody noticing the difference. You’d be amazed at what you can find at places like American Apparel, H&M, Old Navy, Target, TJ Maxx, etc.
4. Wait For The Discounts
Figure out the clearance sale schedule of your favorite designer’s store, or the high-end boutiques and specialty stores in your area. Many stick to January for spring/summer items and July for fall/winter items, while others may have an annual clearance weekend where surplus goods are priced to sell.
Make sales associates your ally - they know what’s available, when it will be marked down, and how to keep reduced items from landing in someone else’s closet. All you have to do is ask and you can find out when a certain item is going to go on sale soon.
Are there any sales going on today? Do you have any coupons available?
There were several instances when sales clerks would pull out a package of coupons and give me one, saving me 20% - 50% on my purchases.
Get on the mailing list of your favorite stores to receive postcards and announcements for sales and clearance days.
Department store clearance racks are a great source for cheap, high-quality clothes. Always check the clearance/sale racks - if you can’t find them, ask. They are always somewhere. So many guys skip the department stores and stick to retail chain stores like Banana Republic or Express that many of these department stores have amazing pieces on ridiculous discounts.
5. Shop Out Of Season
Make a habit to shop out of season. You may not want to think about cashmere sweaters or riding boots in the middle of July, but that’s when you’re likely to realize the greatest savings.
Retail stores discount clothing long before the season ends. They begin stocking for the upcoming season more than a month ahead of time. This gives you the chance to cash in on some great cheap clothes for the remainder of the current season or for next season.
6. Make A Trip To Your Nearest Outlet Store
Find your nearest outlet store and go shopping with friends or family. Make sure you get there early preferably on a weekday because all the good items will be taken.
or… Visit A Consignment Shop In An Affluent Area
Many customers wear items once or twice before sending them to consignment in favor of the latest fashions. These stores carry designer fashions that the owner no longer wants to wear but would like to get a little bit of money for. The owner of the store takes some of the sales price and the seller gets the rest. You, the buyer, often get a real bargain. Many times the clothing in these stores has been barely worn. Be prepared for last season’s fashion sometimes but if the clothing is designer, it should withstand radical fashion changes and will be well tailored, well fitting and of good quality fabric.
7. Shop Online
Shopping online can be a great quick and easy way to find clothing for less. The only downside is that you don’t get to try the material on, but it can be great if you know your exact size and there is a return policy.
A good way to shop online is to first try things on at a retail store, getting a feel for which of their sizes fit you best, and then jotting down the exact model number of the item you want. Now when you search for it online for less, you can be guaranteed that it fits.
Peruse the eBay auctions / stores. A lot of them have almost exact replicas of the high-end designer clothing selling for 1/10th of the price.
Always check for promo / coupon codes before checking out your shopping cart.I’ve saved hundreds of dollars by simply do a little search for “name of online store” + coupon code. A great promo / coupon code site is: www.retailmenot.com
8. Trade Clothing
Get together with family or close friends and trade clothing or accessories they never wore, or got bored of after a few light uses. If your friends have great taste in clothing and you don’t care about it being worn, this can be a great way to save and get some great items. If you wash the clothes, it’s the same as picking it up at a store (where dozens of people try on the item anyway).
9. Use Accessories To Create Different Looks
Once you have the classics in your wardrobe, you can create dozens of looks just by getting some new accessories. Instead of getting new dress shirts, get some stand-out new ties and you now have dozens of new combinations you can create with your blazer/colored shirts. Just by getting a new hat, scarf, or by changing the shoes you wear, you can create a new look with the same shirt and pants. You can find accessories for a lot less than other pieces so utilize this to get the most out of your outfits.
10. Sample Sales
Sample sales are used by retailers to get rid of excess merchandise. Traditionally, sample sales featured items that were created by a designer to put on models for the runway or send to retailers. Now, designers have broadened the definition to include excess inventory, clothing from past seasons, etc.
In New York City, they have these sample sales at random locations in the city, offering high-end designer wear for up to 50 - 75% reductions.
You can also find invite-only websites that offer the sample sale items online. Some examples are Regents Secret or Gilt Group (you can request an invitation on our forums)
There are countless other websites like this, along with websites that actually list the time & place of live sample sales going on in cities like NYC. This is a great way to enjoy high-end designer wear at a fraction of the price.
Caveat: Before You Shop…
One of the biggest mistake people make is to go shopping for something without first thinking about what they already have in their closet. Sometimes, you’ll get a new item and have NOTHING in your closet to go with it, so you have to go out and buy more items to go with your new item. This is not smart shopping. Make sure you always know what you have at home before you go shopping, so that you can match accordingly.
Sometimes you’ll be surprised at what you dig up. You may even rediscover some awesome clothes you never wear. Now you have more clothes to wear without even going shopping!
Conclusion
There are lots of ways to build your style and avoid the temptation of spiraling yourself into debt with shopping. A little smart shopping will go along away, but remember that a few quality pieces are better than a wardrobe full of of low quality ones. Start with the classics and make them the foundation of your wardrobe, then slowly add in new accessories or special items.
There is no need to have each item of an outfit be expensive or outstanding. All you need is one classy piece and have everything else compliment it. For example you may have a REALLY nice pair of shoes that you like and you can wear just a t-shirt, jeans, and a pair of shades with it. The shoes will be the main show and show women you have style. It’s all about keeping the balance between trying too hard and not trying at all.
Now you have more reasons to go out there and start building your wardrobe.
P.S. - Did you notice our Kinowear makeover? I love it. We’re creating some great new products and services and the new website will make room for all the exciting developments to come. Stay tuned!
We all know how important body language is in the game of attracting the opposite sex. But what is attractive body language, and what is unattractive body language?
Pinpointing Unattractive Body Language
Bad body language displays unattractive traits like weakness, nervousness, neediness, insecurity, discomfort, and submissiveness.
Here is a quick list of some unattractive body language that will display beta male characteristics:
Talking to people with arms folded- this gives the impression that you’re closed off, nervous, and uncomfortable. Sometimes we do it as an unconscious way of protecting ourselves
Nervous fidgeting or energy - unnecessarily touching the face, lips, or neck area can seem like you’re nervous and uncomfortable. This also includes moving around too quickly without control
Hands in pockets - this comes off the same way when talking to women with your arms folded, it can seem like you are nervous or uncomfortable
Slumping head or shoulders down- this can display submissiveness or a lack of strength and dominance
Looking uncomfortable in social situation- constantly looking around, not being able to sit still, not taking up space, looking as if ready to leave, all make a person look uncomfortable and anxious
Not taking up space - when sitting or standing, avoid caving into yourself, it says that you’re not worthy of attention and entitlement of some territory
Walking quickly wherever you go- walking around too fast all the time when you don’t have to can display nervousness, like you want to flee the situation
Leaning in when talking to women- this only really matters in the beginning of your interaction with a woman, as it can display an interest too soon, seeming needy and coming off as creepy
Accentuating Attractive Body Language
Good body language will show alpha male traits and attractive traits like dominance, strength, relaxed confidence, and being at secure with oneself and at ease around a woman.
See if you have all these areas covered when around women:
Take up space - taking up space shows that you are dominant and displays confidence through a sense of entitled territory, so instead of folding inwards in a crowded area, spread out a little. A good rule of thumb is sitting or standing comfortably like you would if it was your place
When sitting, spread legs comfortably past shoulder width - you can also slightly lean to one side to look more relaxed instead of being asymmetrical
Be relaxed - check if any part of your body language is displaying that you are tense. Make sure your arms are uncrossed, you are not sitting in a way where you are about to spring into action, and your body is not tense in any area
Smile and laugh- being relaxed doesn’t mean you have to have a boring look like you’re about to fall asleep, it means that you’re enjoying yourself and having fun
Focus your eyes on who are talking- focused eye contact will show that you are present with the girl, and not in your head thinking of your next line, which will send the wrong vibe that you are needy and anxious to please
Lean back- a simple way to show that you are relaxed
Avoid being jumpy - low status guys are always jumpy, ready to hop up and please a woman, to do whatever she wants
Move slow and deliberately- control your movements by moving with purpose instead of in reaction, it’ll display that you are calm and collected in the situation. The dominant alpha male will do what he wants on his own terms, slow and deliberately
When standing, keep chin up and head up with your back and neck straight- avoid being slumped over, a lot of guys don’t keep their necks straight and this can display a lack of strength and poise. A good exercise for this is to stand with your back against a wall and make sure your head is slightly touching the wall as well
Feet and legs should be shoulder with apart when standing - show women that you have a package down there you need to work around and make room for
If you’re holding a drink, hold the drink down by your waist - do not hold your drink in front of your chest, while talking to a woman, it shows defensiveness just like crossing your arms, like you’re guarding yourself
Putting It All Together
Don’t forget that the alpha male attitude comes from the inside out, but working on outer body language can have a profound impact on the thoughts and feelings we harbor inside our minds.
You don’t have to TRY so hard to fix yourself if you see that you do the opposite of most of the things listed here. Awareness is the key. As long as you keep catching yourself and correcting it, that’s all that matters.
Don’t overdo it. Some guys overdo it and it just looks ridiculous. You want it to be subtle and still feel natural to you. The real goal with body language is to have more control over the impressions we make and awareness of the signals we’re giving off.
Use your good judgment and control your body language appropriately to the situation.
For example, leaning back TOO much all the time when talking to people can seem like you are aloof and distant, sometimes leaning in at certain points will show people that you are interesting in what they are saying, or have something exciting to say yourself. But leaning in TOO much can also seem needy. Calibrate to the situation.
Here is an example of it all coming together:
Notice how Brad Pitt is sitting, and talking. He is relaxed, leaning back, spreading out and taking up space, and he moves his hands, head, body slowly and deliberately, with purpose. Edward Norton is slumped over, anxious and fidgety, and seems tense. At the end you can also see the difference in posture when they are standing.
Tip: When moving slow, a great visualization tool is to pretend like you’re moving through a pool of water or sludge. Throughout your day, practice moving slowly as if you’re immersed in a pool of water or sludge. Even when turning your head to look at something, do it slowly.
Stay sharp,
Jae
P.S. - I’m currently working on an e-book, an ultimate style guide that will help any guy find his best style. Keep an eye out for it.
So how does one go from being a stockboy at a clothing boutique to a mega celebrity fashion designer?
For Marc Jacobs, it was all in the approach.
He went from being a fat and scrubby designer hiding in his drawing room to a handsome socialite; out and about with celebrities.
If you’re reading this blog, you probably want to build your best image, but how do you get there like Marc Jacobs?
The “Journey”
Marc’s journey began when he decided that he needed a change, and kept working on himself everyday as he set up routines and rituals for success. Routines like hitting the gym hard daily with a trainer to keep him motivated and rituals like getting his hair styled by a top stylist weekly. Every once in awhile he went to add something new to his look - like piercings or tattoos.
When you make a decision to cultivate your style, or anything in life for that matter, you have to accept that it is an endless journey to mastery.
When I say “endless” I literally mean that it won’t end. Not till you die at least.
When we choose a path, we set up goals along the way, but instead of using these goals as motivation to stay on the path, it’s very easy for us to become captured by the glamorous glory waiting at each finish line.
The truth is that there is no finish line. Not for the people who truly want to continue growing.
Success is a journey, not a destination - Arthur Robert Ashe, Jr.
Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal” - Earl Nightingale
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you’re a success only if you achieve your ultimate goal. According to Earl’s definition, if you are on your way, you are already a success.
A man who loves to run will not stop running after winning a race.
He will celebrate his victory and party with his friends the night of his victory, but the next day he will get up and do what he does every morning - put on his clothes and his running shoes, and hit the streets again. Why? Because he loves to run. The victories are great, and they are acknowledged, but they are not the sole reason he runs. They just come with the territory.
The opposite example of success would be the guy who spends all his time chasing women trying to get laid, but never enjoys the time spent with them when he’s not getting laid. He spends all his energy running after a series of “climaxes” but never enjoys the journey of building his skills with women. Except during the short period of sex he lives frustrated and miserable, escaping through alcohol and other “highs” that he can get like watching sports games-waiting for his team to score so he can feel yet another climax. He’s not enjoying the game for the game itself.
He doesn’t fully understand the truth that he would actually be better with women if he wasn’t always scrambling for an outcome, and instead, was simply grateful for the moments he shared with them.
Outcomes are important, but they are merely points on the journey.
The truth is that the journey is all there is.
Marc Jacobs is also currently the creative director at Louis Vuitton.
Here is a Louis Vuitton video that beautifully illustrates what the “journey” is:
It’s a reminder that when you set out on a path to cultivate any part of yourself, every moment is precious. The only real “trick” or “secret” to success in anything is to stay on the path and be fascinated by it at every present moment. Staying on the path is all you have to do to be a master. To stay on it when it’s easy and when it’s hard- especially when you hit those damn plateaus.
The Secret To Winning
A winner never quits, a quitter never wins- Napoleon Hill
Whatever part of your style you want to work on, whether it’s your fashion, your eye contact, the way you walk, the way you talk, or your attitude and personality, it’s important to build a habit of working on them consistently.
Most people just want to get a part of their life “handled” and be done with it. They only want to put attention to building a skill for a short period and once they reach “mastery” stop caring because now they are masters. But if they stop they are no longer on the path of mastery.
The only “masters” are the ones who think of themselves as students forever.
We’ve all done it before. We stop working on a skill once we’ve reached a few of our main goals, and because we stop we start to revert back to our old ways.
Are there any parts of your life where you’ve stopped practicing something?
Maybe it’s an instrument you no longer play…maybe you stopped going out and meeting new people. Maybe you stopped playing a sport or exercising.
If you’ve ever stopped exercising, you know that once you get lazy it just starts to get worse. You start to gain that weight again or lose that muscle and so you lose motivation to keep it up because you’re already so far down the tube. Then you start to eat junk food again and sit on the coach watching TV all day. All that exercise you’ve done has now gone to waste.
Obviously a small skill like learning how to snap your fingers can be learned and then there is no need to continue practicing. But when it comes to bigger things in your life that you’ve set as a standard for yourself there should be no stopping.
Believing that we’re “good enough” is not enough. How can we ever know where we are in terms of our potential?
What’s going to set you apart from ALL the other guys at first glance is how long you’ve stayed on the path to building yourself.
You are a castle, and the only way to build an impressive fortress of power is to continuously lay brick upon brick. Once you stop, you’ve chosen to pull the plug on progress. You choose to “settle.” If you’re happy with that, great. But if you want to be the best that you can be or considered a master, then you can never settle.
When you’re building yourself, there will be times when you run out of brick and mortar, when a wall crumbles, or when it seems like you can no longer build higher walls. These are the plateaus that you will face on the path.
The key here is to keep going, because it’s not about “finishing,” it’s about enjoying every stretch of the race. There will be points in the journey where you hit goals you’ve been working towards, but you enjoy it for the fleeting joys that they are and keep on moving. Your real enjoyment comes from the path itself.
A lot of guys who read these articles are looking to become better with women. With women it’s so easy to get into the mindset of chasing “goals” and outcomes. When we chase, it drains us of our energy instead of empowering us. We must love the game of getting better with women itself, instead of just sex or validation.
Here’s an example of a man who many people consider a “master.” Lance Armstrong. But the only reason he is a master is because he loves what he does and doesn’t do it for the wins. Winning is just a result of his passion. He is a master because he loves the “path” and chooses to stay on it while many others quit.
Staying On The Path
Here are tips for staying on the path, and using goals to empower rather than drain you of your energy.
1. Surround Yourself With The Right People
We’ve all heard this before. The fact is that one of the best ways to cultivate a skill is to surround yourself with people who are on the same journey as you. When it comes to your image - take a look around you, do your friends have the kind of attributes you’d like to surround yourself with?
I have heard once that you are the average of the friends around you. I really believe this to be true. Who we are around the most influences our thoughts and in turn affects our actions, which then brings the results we see in our lives. We absorb the values and views around us like a sponge. This is why it’s SO important to surround yourself with people you respect and look up to. These people can also be mentors through books, CDs, videos, and they don’t have to be alive today.
Example: If you want to sculpt your body at the gym, find a partner who is passionate about the same sort of change. Go together and measure yourself against each other’s goals. This accountability will keep the fire going.
I go to the gym with Theory and we don’t ever let each other get lazy. We make it so there is no chance in hell to back out. We put our weight goals on a board and track our progress, building a healthy competition that makes it fun. We also keep each other on track through what we eat and how frequently we eat.
When you surround yourself with people who can help you on your path, hopefully with the same vision as you, it’ll motivate you to do your best. You’ll then attract more people who share your vision, further compounding your growth.
2. Motivation Through Pictures
Create a picture board of the kind of image you are working towards. Get subscriptions to GQ and Men’s Health and cut out your favorite looks (whether style or body) and post them up. If you see anything you like online, print it out and post it up as well. This includes the type of women you like, someone you want to emulate, etc. Every time you look at these pictures daily, you’ll look at yourself and check whether or not you’re well on the path towards these goals, and if you’re not, the negative emotions can be used to make you act.
One of the pictures I have on my wall is a picture I ripped out of Men’s Health of a body I want. Every time I look at it, I check how I’m doing towards that goal. Sometimes it makes me immediately go and fix myself something to eat or drink a protein shake. I love it.
3. Use Negative Feedback As Fuel
Whenever we start to create change in our lives, and look to others for input, sometimes we get discouraging feedback instead of encouragement. This is natural because you are setting little bombs off in “the system,” that are causing big disruptions. The “system” is the “way things are.” Your family isn’t used to seeing you invest time and money in improving yourself so they’ll make jokes about you being insecure. Your friends won’t like you being becoming better than them, and making them feel inferior, so they’ll try to bring you down. Most of the time this is unintentional and happens naturally.
It’s important not to let the initial discouragement make you quit. Take it as a test to measure the strength of your character, and a chance to practice enjoying the journey itself instead of results.
Everyone laughed and made fun of Noah when he was building the Ark. They called him a crazy old man and a psychopath. Nobody was laughing when the Great Flood came.
You can use the negative feedback as fuel to do what people say you can’t.
4. Set Yourself Up To “Win”
Create a daily routine as well as a weekly routine. The only way that you’ll continue to grow in an area of your life is if you make sure you put in CONSISTENT practice. Only a set routine will enable you to keep consistent.
If you don’t think you can keep up a routine, find a partner as stated in number one to keep you accountable. If you can’t find anyone who wants to do it with you, tell as many people as you can what you are going to do. They can keep you accountable and check up on you. Another good way to get yourself to do something is to get a coach or a trainer, sign up for a class, or join a club that has weekly get-togethers.
5. Keep It Interesting
When you’re on those plateaus, it’s easy to lose motivation when things get too routine and boring. Spice it up a bit by throwing in some new twists. Change up your workout, change what you eat. Try a new way of shaving. Go shopping and try on new things that you thought you could never see yourself wearing - you may change your mind.
Conclusion
Hope this article is a big reminder to everyone, as it has been for me, that mastery is about loving the journey itself rather than just chasing climaxes. The only thing that lasts is the journey of discovering ourselves, and what we are made of.
-Jae
P.S. - Want to read the words of people on the path of mastery? Check out motivating stories here of guys who are enjoying the benefits of staying on the path to improving their style.
