Here at Kinowear, we’re always doing our best to help guys bring out the best in themselves and make lasting impressions on others - especially the opposite sex.
Just to be clear for the rest of this article, we’re more about helping guys find their ideal girlfriend and creating a meaningful relationship than a random one night stand.
I’m going to break this down to be as simple as possible - so it’s easy to remember.
Some things may sound fundamental, but from my experience I guarantee that if you focus on these three important keys you will learn how to get any woman wanting to hang out with you over and over again.
Where you take it from there is up to you.
Let’s get to it.
1) From the First Moment: Treat Her As If She’s Already Your Best Friend
Have you ever met a girl for the first time, and she made you feel like you’ve known her for years? So much so, that you felt so at ease and comfortable with her?
I had this huge “act as if they’re your best friend” realization when I was a lot younger. I met a girl who treated me like her best friend upon our first meeting and I instantly got sucked into the frame that we were actually super close, and we literally became best buddies overnight.
I started recognizing this behavior in all the really social people who had a lot of friends, and started doing it myself. The results were amazing, and till this day I count it as one of the most important concepts to creating instant rapport.
A lot of guys tend to put on a veil of politeness for the first few meetings with a girl - they hold back, treating the girl with a polite “respect” so as not to offend her in any way. The truth is that this isn’t the real you. You don’t act like this around your friends so why would you in front of someone who you want to become your friend?
After the first meet she may think you’re a nice guy, but chances are high that she won’t go out of her way to see you again.
Bottom line: Treat every girl you meet for the first time like you’ve known them for years. They’ll instantly feel close to you and let their guards down.
Perfect example (watch till 3:00) :
(For the purposes of this article, just watch up to 3:00)
Dane Cook’s character and Jessica Alba have met for the first time in this scene, but they talk and treat each other like they’ve been long time friends.
Notice how they create an instant connection and feel totally comfortable around each other.
Be careful not to get too comfortable and blatantly hit on her like Dane Cook’s dumb friend.
Your outcome should never be to “pick her up.” She’ll sense that instantly, and she will put you in the same category as every other skeeveball out there. Instead, your outcome should just be to have a great time and make sure all your friends have a great time.
Speaking of other friends, make sure you’re giving equal attention to them and not just her. You shouldn’t be giving her too much special attention all night.
2) Establish That You’re a Positive and Fun Guy
For a lot of guys the question is whether they have to be the aloof and mysterious James Bond character or the really goofy guy.
The answer is neither.
All you need is to keep a positive attitude and show girls that you know how to have fun.
The opposite extreme of this - which you should avoid at all costs - is to sulk in the corner and give off a negative vibe. Pretty much avoid anything negative like gossip or touchy subjects.
You may feel like you need to be really good at talking about intellectual things or impressing her with interesting stories - but you can display the other sides of your great personality later. All you have to do upon the first meet is to establish that you’re really fun.
Women will respond so much better to the emotional state you’re in than anything you say or do. The impression you’ll make is almost all about how much you can pump her with good emotions. She’ll link all those positive emotions to you and will never forget how she felt when you two were together.
Once you’ve established yourself as a fun guy, they’ll definitely want to hang out with you again - no question. They’ll usually be the one to ask you for your number before you even think about it. This is because it’s so refreshing and rare to meet someone who is full of energy and fun.
Don’t forget to make sure all her friends are having fun too. This is very important. The way to really win over a woman is to win over her friends. If her friends like you, they’ll keep talking about how great you are to her even when you’re not - pretty much doing all the work for you if you plan on taking it further.
Whenever I see that part of the group is not having fun at the club, I’ll just go up to them and start dancing or screaming “wooo!” to get them laughing and having fun. Focus on the weakest links and bring them up. The girl will see that you’re taking care of her friends and love you for it. Her friends will also love you.
3) Be “Dressed to The Nines”
Whatever your style is, make sure you’re feeling totally confident about the way you look before you go out. You should pretty much know for a fact that you look damn good.
If you dress well, a woman will make a thousand positive judgments about you before you utter a word. So do yourself a huge favor and make it vastly easier on yourself to make a great impression. So much of the way we are perceived by others is through the way we dress.
Of course you should be dressed to the occasion, and not be wearing your three-piece suit to a casual dinner with friends. But definitely dress to impress - you’ll be that much more memorable than all the other guys.
It’s All About The Details
Along with these keys, remember that a lot of your impression will be from the little things you do.
We can always tell the most about someone through the seemingly insignificant acts.
It’s the nonchalant moments when someone isn’t “trying” that their true character and personality is revealed.
For example, you can tell what principles and values people have by the way they way they hold a door, clean up after themselves, or the way they might always ask you if you want some of their delicious sandwich.
Women will see the way you listen to someone who’s talking to you, the way you handle a negative comment, the way you help a friend who needs it.
So much of your character is in the HOW you do things, rather than the what. And it’s always the smallest things that reveal the most about you.
Conclusion
Everytime you go out with a group of friends and you meet a new woman, always remember to:
1) Treat her like she’s already your best friend
- Be enthusiastic to meet her as if she’s your long lost friend
- Act as if she already thinks of you as her close friend
- Your outcome should not be to pick her up but try to establish a close friendship first
2) The first day - establish that you can be really fun
- Scratch the aloof, James Bond approach and aim for a fun, laughter-filled vibe instead
- Worry about displaying your deeper personality later on, and on the first date, just focus on showing her your fun side - this will ensure she’ll want to see you again
3) Never leave the house without looking your best
- ”Dress to the nines” and you’ll automatically exude a level of confidence without saying a word
Simple right? Not quite.
Try and master these three keys with every woman you want to befriend and share your thoughts and experiences in the comments!
Thanks for reading guys,
Jae
P.S. - We’re changing things here at Kinowear, for the better! Thanks to all the guys who have taken the Kinowear survey. We’ll take your feedback into consideration. If you haven’t taken the survey yet here it is:
Quick Kinowear Survey (It only takes a minute and you could be picked for a free online style consultation!)
Enjoyed this article? Sign up for our RSS feed or enter your email and get articles straight to your mailbox:
Jae - Fantastic article. I completely agree with all three things you have written above and something I have come to realise over the last few years through trial and error. The old adage “Just be yourself” is so true. So many men try and put on an act when talking to women. The funny thing is, women are actually very astute and can see through it straight away! 5* article!
Great article - know this film and I thinked the same thing like you wrote here. It’s remarkable how Dane Cook treat her. I think important is to feel you like “she’s your best friend” otherwise it could be inkhorn.
I’m not so sure about the first key which advises that a guy should treat a girl like she’s his bestfriend even on that first time the two of them meet. I believe bestfriends tend to act toward each other in a way that may confuse or even offend others.
I like this article and I agree with every bit of it.
and hopefully you’ll meet that special someone.
This wont work for a 1 night stand people so don’t whine about it But it will make you a very ’social’ person
This is golden, I always try to be the fun guy as well because if you end up not getting ass that night, you still had a blast and met a bunch of girls that (no doubt) are gonna wanna kick it with you later
oh and that clip was HILARIOUS
Jae,
What a GREAT ARTICLE on “3 Keys To A Last Impression.”
A must read for every guy.
Vision
Honestly #1 has to be the best piece of advice. Some of my best relationships came out of that mindset.
Great article. Very succinct and to the point and some of the best points I’ve read online.
that video is an absolutely perfect example of this.
Nice post!
“Dress to the nines.” I love that phrase. I actually use that every weekend before I go out now : )
Haha I have too many friends who try to act cold, cool, and aloof. “James bond” as you call it. I’m never surprised to add that they have lackluster love lives
Jae, excellent post. I wouldn’t say this is basic. This is something that most guys don’t even do.
These are great tips - this is exactly why I love this blog and how you guys go beyond the clothing.
I think the fear that a lot of men have is that they’ll be put in the “friend zone.” However, I think it’s important to add that being a “friend” is not black and white. There are unattractive friends who are aptly put into the “friend zone” and friends who I wouldn’t think twice about taking to the next level.
Dane Cook is so awesome - amazing post Jae!
Loved it. I really love how you weave social dynamics into image. I always tell my friends that Kinowear has got to be the most un-superficial fashion site.
Very Key Article, I loved it.
Nice article Jae!
These are some of the keys to a great lasting impression.
I truly believe that all of this can revolve around the idea of being authentic. Authenticity is one of the most attractive qualities that women cannot resist.
excellent tips - this is a refreshing change for this blog! You’re so right about the fact that women are all about emotional memory. They might not remember your name, but they’ll remember the emotions you made them feel.
“A lot of guys tend to put on a veil of politeness for the first few meetings with a girl” - this was straight up me. I have girls who I’ve known for years who I’m extremely “polite” with and consequently distant.
I think the problem that men deal with these days is that the media screws up their idea of how to deal and interact with women. So much of the crap you see in tv or even read about in magazines are bullshit. There is nothing like building an organic relationship, and this approach, as you outlined in this spot-on post is the way to build it. I love this twist to this site. Thanks again Jae!
Nice post Jae. This is easily my favorite blog… Thanks
“Once you’ve established yourself as a fun guy, they’ll definitely want to hang out with you again - no question. They’ll usually be the one to ask you for your number before you even think about it. ”
Agreed with everything until there. Girls never ask for your number. They only do if you’ve arranged to meet up, so you both need each other’s numbers. Otherwise, it usually goes, you don’t ask, she doesn’t, so “it just wasn’t meant to be.”
And girls can easily forget some guy they met and had fun talking to, especially if alcohol is involved. Some girls you establish a connection with, and some you don’t, even though outwardly, the girls are responding equally well. A good sign is if you don’t have to restart the conversation often, if it just continues to flow.
I definitely do see friends being very stiff and quiet around people they’ve just met, and it hurts them considerably.
I would say this is a pretty perfect scerario in this clip. Most girls I have encounter (not touching the beauty of Alba) are not going to be that receptive regardless of treating them like a best friend. I feel you should treat her like a best friend but still keep the “bondness” frame. You can still have fun, be fun, treat a girl well and still maintain the attractiveness of a guy who is not afraid to walk away at any moment. Thats where the “bond” comes in to play.
Yes, treat her as your best friend in this mindset. Make sure you are acclerlating if she is a go. If you stay too long in the best friend mindset, she will start to questioning herself, “Is he interested in me.” “Maybe not, let’s be friend.” Then she starting to looking for a man who can excites her.
Word.
Fantastic article. I’m going to try out #1 tomorrow when I go out