Monthly Archive for May, 2008

How To Pimp Out Your Car In A Day

Published
by
Jae
on May 9, 2008
in Style Tips
. 25,226 views

My favorite scene from Transformers.

Megan Fox doesn’t get why the supposedly SUPER robot turns “into a piece of crap Camaro.”

Is your car a mess? If you’re such a GREAT guy, would you keep your car looking like a piece of crap?

After all, it represents you.

And if a girl sees the way you take care of yourself and your possessions, what do you think she would assume about the way you might treat her? Whether as a friend or a lover?

After recently riding in my friend’s garbage dump - which he calls his “car” - I was compelled to write an article on something that most people fail to take care of.We all know that a car can bring with it a symbol of status, and a display of personality. Some people even treat them like they have a life of their own.

But I’m not going to talk about how to display status or personality through your car. Unlike clothing, men don’t really need or want help in that area. Deciding that is part of the joy in owning a car.

What I DO want to address is simply something that EVERY guy can benefit from doing with their car.


The Most Crucial Aspect Of Your Car

What matters more than the type of car you drive is how clean the interior and exterior is.

A “nice” car that is completely covered in dirt or full of junk is not so nice anymore.

Compare that to an old model car that looks brand new, and even though it’s not so “up -to-date” it looks like it is.

When you’re picking up that date, you want your car to be sparkling clean and smelling nice.


Women notice these things. I’m not making it up when I say that either. I assure you that this article is built from pure experience and feedback.

How clean the interior of your car is can often reflect how many women you have entering your car on any given month.

I’ll admit that I used to transform my car into SHOWROOM status whenever I had a date to pick up. Not a particle of dust in sight. I even had a citrus car freshener that the girl’s loved, and would prepare a whole collection of mood setting CDs for our time together. It was all meticulously planned.

Did it pay off? YES.

The funny thing was that when I didn’t have a date for awhile my car would start to get dirty again because I didn’t care as much. I saw the same attitude with my other guy friends. This was in highschool, mind you, and looking back it was mostly because I didn’t own the car - it was my parent’s. So I really didn’t care much about taking care of it, just making it presentable when I used it for my own purposes.

But everything changes when you actually own your own car.

For me it’s no longer about impressing women, but all about honoring what I believe I’m worth as well as respecting my possessions. At the end of the day I really don’t care what other people think of me, but at the same time I take a lot of pride in the way I express myself.

I also believe that image is a TOOL that we can use to our advantage - getting more of what we want in our life. We live in a society where we’re constantly being judged by our appearance and possessions, so why not play the game to the hilt? The impressions we make on others affect our interactions and quality of relationships, as well as open up doors for business and networking purposes.

If you believe you’re the best, you’ll surround yourself with the best things. People see this, and measure your worth with it.

Best doesn’t always mean expensive or high-end, but your own definition of it. I’ve yet to meet a person who thinks of messy and dirty as their “best.” Even people who just want to get from point A to point B in their car - who say they don’t care about cleanliness - would admit to feeling better if their car was looking immaculate and new.

Have you ever stepped into someone’s car filled with garbage, with barely enough room to sit comfortably? What kind of impression did you get?

How does it make you feel when you enter someone’s car and it still smells of ketchup and french fries from a fast food bag they purchased last week?

Not only does it make me feel uncomfortable, but it forms my impression of the person who owns the car.


Something My Father Taught Me

Back when I was a little kid, my father used to march into my overly messy room and nag me to clean it up. He would keep telling me that my messy room was an outer reflection of my inner state of mind.

For weeks I ignored his words, as I played my video games, mumbling some form of agreement to his demands.

One day after getting home from school, I wanted to take a nap. I pushed a humongous pile of clothes off my bed, and finally felt a slight discomfort that kind of made me want to clean my room.

Did I clean it up that week?

No.

I had too many things on my mind, and felt too busy and stressed out to find the time to clean.

Then my father came into my room again later the next week, but this time he didn’t yell at me. He just calmly stated the same words he had been trying to get through to me for weeks.

“Your disorganization and messiness is a display of what’s going on inside.”

The fact that he wasn’t yelling got my attention, and this time I really listened to his words.

After he left, I sat there ruminating over what he said, and all of a sudden the words finally hit me like a ton of bricks. I looked around, and it really did seem true that that my messy room reflected the stressful mess in my mind.

The disorganization was a reflection of scrambled thoughts in my head - with no real order, purpose, or direction. There were random things lying around that I left to be dealt with in some mysterious future moment. There was garbage lying around the room (even when I had a garbage can), reflecting how lazy I was.

My father’s words had finally struck a chord in me. Immediately I got out a pen and paper and started to write down all the steps I needed to take to organize my mind as well as create the same sort of order in my surrounding environment.

During the next whole week, I learned how to use a time management system, and got all my scattered thoughts onto paper and created a plan for my life - from my long term goals to my short term goals.

I picked up all my dirty clothes, and threw them in the laundry. I was surprised at how easy and quick cleaning up could be.

I was having fun so I got a garbage bag and started to pick up all the empty bottles and useless school papers as well. I vacuumed and dusted every nook and cranny, and created an organizational system for my books, papers, and supplies. I even took the time to rearrange some furniture and threw out a whole box of things I no longer used.

When I finally finished, I stood back and admired what I had accomplished. I felt so much better about myself; I felt so stress free.

I also didn’t have to worry about misplacing or losing things anymore because everything had it’s designated place. I knew EXACTLY where something was if I needed it. Before I cleaned my room, things would get lost in the random piles of other things and it would cause more stress and disorganization.

It became a downward spiral.

I realized that it really does start from what’s going on in your mind. If you believe that your life is a mess, there will most like also be a messy environment around you. Then you get fed more negative emotion every time you look at it or lose something. You also have that silent voice in your head that is telling you to clean things up, and by ignoring it, you subconsciously adopt other negative ideas such as not having enough time, that it doesn’t matter anyway, that you have nobody to impress in your life, etc. All these thought patterns just pile on top of each other and make you lazier - creating more mess.

When you’re organized, I’ve found there is so much more freedom and productivity. It has the opposite effect on your psychology. You feel better about yourself and eliminate so much negative stress that comes from dealing with clutter.

My father was right, when your head is cluttered inside with no organization, it’s most likely reflected somehow on the outer level.

Looking back, I see that my dad never really cared about the ROOM being messy, it’s that he wanted me to see the valuable power in organization and cleanliness. He figured out that my mind was scattered and that I was full of stress, just by looking at my room.

He knew that it would affect my psychology as well as help me to see that it affected my relationships because of the impression I was making.

You should have seen his face the next day he came home from work when he expected to enter a messy room. He looked at me but didn’t say a word, he just smiled at me. He was happy that something inside of me had shifted.

Keeping your CAR clean will have the same affect as it did on me when I cleaned up my room. Your car is like a portable room. You take it with you wherever you go, and people sometimes step into that room.

What they see will leave an impression on them, and can affect their decision of choosing to hang out with someone like you or not.


What Women Will Notice

It’s true that some guys don’t care because they’re not trying to impress any of their guy friends. But most of their friends who don’t care probably have messy cars as well.

Anyone who really takes care of their own car will know the benefits and naturally suggest that their friend do the same. It’s what a good friend does.

But who cares about impressing guys unless it’s for business. Just know that women will notice.

Women are naturally attracted to men who look like they can take care of themselves physically, emotionally and financially. From what they see, they assume he can handle most of life’s challenges, and perhaps take care of them.

Taking care of yourself also means taking care of your possessions.

Women notice everything. It’s all a window in which they can look through to who you really are.

I dated a girl who’s car was always a mess. She also smoked and the car reeked of cigarettes every time I stepped in. One day I taught her how to clean her car because she said she’s never done it before.

I know, I was as shocked as you are right now.

The next week I saw her there were coffee cups, half-drunken water bottles, and papers lying around her car again.

It didn’t matter that we cleaned her car, because her internal state of mind still happened to manifest itself on the outer level.

I got the impression that she was a mess in many other areas of her life, which I found to be totally true. She carried a lot of insecurities and limiting beliefs in her mind, and she was totally scatterbrained. I haven’t talked to her since.

Does this mean that we need to focus on the internal first?

Yes, because even if you clean your car today, it’s most likely going to get dirty again if you follow the same habits. You must have a shift in thinking.

I’m not saying that EVERY single person with a messy car or a messy room has a scattered mind. They could have legit reasons like being really busy. But nobody is that busy. If they are it’s probably because they don’t know how to manage their time and thoughts. You could split up cleaning your car into 5 mins a day throughout the week.

You have be honest with yourself and look inside. Are you constantly stressed out? Do you feel like you never have time for the things you want to do? Do you have management tools in place that give you internal clarity?

Haven’t you had a time where you were in a really happy state, and you just felt like cleaning your car or organizing something? And then after you did that, didn’t you feel even BETTER as you started to build that positive momentum?

But most of the time what happens is that we lose that momentum, and start to go down the downward spiral.

This used to happen to me a lot in the past, but I’ve learned how to keep that momentum going.

You can trigger these same good feelings by forcing yourself to build the HABIT of keeping a positive and clean environment. When it becomes a habit, then your positive emotional state becomes a habit as well.

But beyond benefiting yourself, it influences the quality of your relationships. The girl I mentioned before didn’t build that habit, and so it continuously fueled her negative state of mind and stress, and that had a negative impact on our relationship.

On the flip side of the coin, having a clean environment can positively influence your interactions with others, and one of your main daily environments is inside your car.

Women I’ve dated have told me that they loved how clean my car was. When I asked them why, they basically told me that it was just attractive the way I took care of it.

Think about that. It gave them the impression that I have my life together and I’m not a lazy, disorganized person - as well as reflecting what I believe to be my self-worth. If you don’t believe in your own worth, who will?


Keeping Your Car Clean and Looking Like New

For most people, a car is the second largest investment they’ll make in their lives. But many people fail to take care of them, losing money down the road. If you own a car you should know how to keep it excellent shape.

Here are some basic tips you should follow to make your car looking new inside and out in just ONE day:

Materials that you’ll need for cleaning the outside of your car:

Garden Hose with nozzle

Plastic bucket

Car Wash Soap

Wash Mitt or Sponge

Clean paint-safe microfiber towels or 100% Cotton Towels

Car Wax

Glass Cleaner

For cleaning the inside of your car:

Vacuum

Duster

Cleaning wipes

Glass Cleaner

Washing your car

Before you head over to your nearest commercial car wash, know that the brushes and methods used for drive-thru car washes are not friendly on your paint. You may not be able to see it but it slowly strips your car of it’s coat and in the long term is not good for your car.

They never get the entire car clean like you want it anyway, and it can be costly. So the best idea for you is to take a little time and wash your car correctly yourself, and here is how to do it.

First, make sure you park your car in the shade before you wash it, otherwise the soap suds will dry before you can rinse it off - it’ll create water spots and you don’t want that.

Fill your plastic bucket with water, and then add the amount of soap it tells you to on the label. Now I realize that some people use dish soap -DON’T- it’ll strip off the wax and polish you have on your car and is also not good for it in the long run.

I’ve found it better to add water first, and then add the soap - mixing it by swirling the water and soap with my hand. You’ll find that if you use the hose to mix the soap the bucket will just fill up with suds and make the water overflow. The suds will form as you keep washing the car anyway - it’s important to have a good mix of over and soap.
You should wash your wheels first before anything else because if you clean the wheels last then your car will start to air dry which will create water spots. You want to be able to properly dry it with your towel while it’s still wet. Even if you dry the car first, and then do the wheels, you’ll get the car wet again when you use the hose on the wheels. So clean the wheels first.

When cleaning the wheels, on top of using my sponge, I like to use a bristle brush to really get in there and get rid of the brake dust that builds up around the rims.

After that, wet your entire car with your garden hose from the top down and let gravity be your friend - letting all the loose dirt run down your car.

Dip your sponge or wash mitt in the bucket and start washing your car from the top down.

Or get your girlfriend to do it in a bikini while you watch.

That would be ideal, wouldn’t it.

She probably would ruin your car. So do it yourself you lazy bum.

Okay, so when you’re washing your car with your mitt, one or two passes is enough. Go in the direction that the wind passes over your car. Up and down or side to side. A lot of people scrub really hard in circular motions and that’s why they create swirls in the paint of their car. Then they wonder where the swirls came from.

Rinse your sponge frequently as well, so you’re not rubbing dirt particles into the paint.

There is no need to keep scrubbing one spot, one or two passes should be enough. Only do it if you haven’t washed your car in ages, and there is a build-up of heavy dirt or grime in certain areas. This is why the more you wash your car the easier and faster it’ll be the next time!

After you soap your entire car, rinse it with water but make not to blast your car with a strong jet of water, as this can push dirt particles into the paintwork. Use a medium strength.

Remember to dry your car with a microfiber towel or a 100% cotton towel. Letting it dry on it’s own will make water dry in patches and your car won’t look clean at all. Use one dry towel to wipe up most of the water, and then go over it with a second dry towel.

Then to protect your car as well as give it a great shine, take some car wax and rub it on evenly using a circular motion, doing one section of the car at a time.

Allow the wax to dry to a haze for one or two minutes. Then buff the wax off with a cotton towel using the same circular motion. Wax on, wax off.

Lastly, wash your windows with glass cleaner to remove streaks and spots.

Now you’re done with the exterior!


Keeping The Interior Like New

The inside of your car is just as important as the outside, if not MORE. Some guys will call it their “sanctuary.” Unless your date or friend is riding on top of your car and staring at your paint, I suggest you pay extra attention to the inside.

Remove ALL the clutter and garbage out of your car. Nothing should be on the floors. Use a vacuum and get rid of all the crumbs and dirt under the mats. You’ll be surprised what you find down there; probably enough change to buy yourself a meal after you’re done.

Make sure to keep a small garbage bin or plastic bag in the back for you to throw your trash in. It also gives your friends a place to put their trash whenever they’re riding in your car. A good habit to develop is to grab some trash every time you get out of your car, this will ensure that your car stays clean.

To clean up all the dust, I use disposable Swiffer dusters. They’re really cheap and I like them because they don’t leave little fiber particles like towels do.

I use Armor All cleaning wipes to clean all the vinyl and plastic areas of the front of my car. They also leave everything looking like new with a nice shine.

To get into the tiny cracks, I use a Q-tip and spray some Armor All cleaner onto it. It gets all the nasty dirt and dust that have fallen between the small cracks. You can also use a small paintbrush to get in between these cracks.

If you have carpet upholstery and you have some stains in them, use a carpet cleaner like Turtle Wax Power Out Carpet Cleaner. You just have to spray it onto the stain and rub, then let it dry. You can also use it on your floor mats.

For cloth seat stains, another thing you can do is to take a tiny bit of the car soap and put it directly on the stain - then rub gently. Then wet the area with a really wet paper towel, then let it air dry.

If it’s a floor mat, do it outside of your car on the ground, you can use a scrub brush to really get the dirt out and rinse it down with your hose.

If you have leather seats:

You have to make sure you clean and condition leather or vinyl. After a couple of years, you’ll notice that the color of the leather seats no longer matches the rest of the interior. It’s not enough just to condition the leather. First spray on leather cleaner and rub vigorously with a clean terry cloth towel. To avoid rubbing the grime back into the seats, keep flipping the cloth to expose a fresh surface. Let the seats dry for an hour and then rub in a leather conditioner like Lexol to keep the leather supple. It’s available at discount stores and auto stores.

Organize your CDs with a CD visor, placing all your most listened to CDs in it for easy access. You can then rotate whatever CDs you’re listening to for the week in and out of the visor. Keep your other CDs in a CD case and keep them in a different compartment, in case you want to bring one out at a later time.

You can also eliminate all CDs in your car by getting an mp3 player and hooking it up to your stereo.

One thing I hate is the goo that is left on the windshield after peeling off an old inspection sticker. I’ve found the best way to get rid of it is with Goo Gone. The stuff is amazing. Cover your dash with an old towel and dab on Goo Gone. Then scrape and wipe it off.


The Scent Of Luxury


What does your car smell like?

The smell of your car is very important - if the car is spotless but it smells like crap, this obviously doesn’t do any good.

A car that SMELLS dirty FEELS dirty.

This is why it’s so important that you keep your car smelling fresh. It’s the same feeling you get when you step into a brand new car and you smell that good ol’ new car smell that you only get to experience a few times in your life.

How would you feel if you stepped into your NEW car and there was a foul odor coming from somewhere inside?

Even if your car smells fine, get a car freshener. It’ll change the whole mood of the car when someone gets in. They’ll smell the nice scent when they get in and then it’ll trigger them to notice how clean your car is, and feel good in it. You’ll feel good every time you get in it as well.

You can find a cheap little tree freshener at your nearest convenience store, but personally I like to pay a little extra for a liquid car perfume.

They come in fancy bottles and last a lot longer - as well as look way cooler.

There are also air fresheners you can plug into your AC vents (pictured above).

If there are odors in your car, you can use Febreze on the carpets or seats to freshen up the scent of the car. You should keep one in the back if you’re the type that eats in the car with friends. Which you should try to avoid.

More Tips:

The cleaner your car is, the more you’ll be inclined to keep it that way, whereas a messy car will more easily get messier.

A good when washing your car is fill two buckets instead of one. Keep one as the soap bucket and one as the rinse bucket so you don’t have to keep replacing the soap water. It also prevents particles from staying in your sponge or wash mitt, so that it minimizes chances of scratching your car.

Don’t keep the water running while you wash your car. The average home wash will use between 80 and 140 gallons of fresh water. Buy a hose sprayer with a lever that shuts off the water when you let go.

Do not assume that the 100% cotton label on the towel is telling the truth. The only way to check is to actually set fire to a rolled up corner of the towel. If you get a clean flame like a candlewick then it is 100% cotton. If you see black smoke and melted fibers, then you got one of the non 100% which will scratch your paint.

You should wash your car a minimum of once a week, each week it’ll take less and less time. A fairly clean car can be washed in less than 30 mins. You should wash your car a minimum of once a week due to the fact that your car is constantly bombarded with contaminants such as tree sap mist and bird droppings. If the contaminants are not removed quickly they can bond to the paint and even etch the paint. Bird droppings are highly acidic, and must be removed as soon as possible!

Keep a pack of car wipes in your glove compartment so if you’re stuck in traffic, waiting at an extra long light, or arrive at a destination a little early, you can whip one out and do some quick cleaning.

I’ve never had to fix nicks and scratches on my car myself, but here is a great website for tips on how to remove them by yourself at home.

If you’re busy, at LEAST wash your car ONCE a month. Make it a habit because it’ll be very beneficial to keeping your car in tip-top shape. If you’re planning on keeping your car for a long time, or selling it in the future, it’s very important that you learn how to take care of your car. It’ll cost you lots of money down the road if you don’t.

The more often you clean your car, the easier it is and the less time it takes.

And don’t forget to have fun!

- Jae


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Getting In The Way Of Your Best Self

Published
by
Jae
on May 2, 2008
in Self-Improvement
. 3,969 views

Believe it or not, if you’re not where you want to be in terms of your image, you may be getting in your own way without even realizing it.

There are two things that could be getting in the way of your style development: associations and comfort zone level.

Walking around New York City, I see a lot of people who dress the same. In my head, I’m saying, “C’mon people!”

I believe that true style is an expression of the unique individual, not just going for what is widely accepted by the masses.

When people who want to upgrade their style leave their comfort zone, like trying a new hairstyle, they automatically go into “let’s test this out” mode. This is fine, until they get bad reactions, and it totally thwarts their progress. The negative emotions they get condition them to stop trying to “change.”

This is one reason why people end up dressing and looking “safe.” Which means looking around at what everyone else is doing, and staying within the invisible boundaries. It snuffs out the fire of our own individual creativity before it even has a chance to grow into something self-sustainable.

This article will teach you how to assess the associations we’ve built up over the years, and why this is important. With the new awareness you’ll gain from this article, you’ll be able to reach your highest level of style, as well as apply what you learn to all other areas of your life.

Let’s get to it.


ASSOCIATIONS THAT HOLD YOU BACK

Have you ever gone out to meet women or friends after getting a new outfit or haircut, have a terrible night, and end up blaming it on your new look?

We all have periods in our life where we try to upgrade our image. This may be in the form of new clothing, a new hairstyle you’ve wanted to try for a while, a tattoo, piercing, or anything else that changes your image towards the newer version of “you.”

We never know how the vision will turn out in the end till we try something, so we take risks. Great.

But what happens naturally to most people when they take risks is that they start to look to others for approval or opinions along the way.

And most people don’t just want random opinions, but answers to specific questions. Rarely do we ask others for open-ended feedback. Most of the time we want a straight “yes” or “no,” “good”or “bad.”

“Does my new haircut look cool?”

“Does this new shirt work for me?”

Then whenever you go out, you may get a bunch of great comments like:

“Wow, I LOVE your new haircut!” or “That is a freakin’ awesome shirt.”

Of course, sometimes we’ll get negative comments too, and we can’t ignore them. But I find it funny that as long as the number of positive comments are higher than the negative, we assume the negative people have noooo idea what they are talking about. We’ll rationalize it by telling ourselves thinks like, “They have no taste in style anyway.”

This is an ineffective approach to building your style because it’s highly based on the emotional response and validation of others.

It’s what goes behind the scenes when someone says “Dude, this is my lucky jacket, girls love when I wear this.” Maybe girls do love the jacket, but do they love you?

His associations with his jacket will create a superstition. Then, if he has a bad night, he can simply blame it on something external - like his jacket. What’s even more funny is when he starts to get weak responses from women, he’ll start to believe that his jacket has “lost it’s magic,” and get a new one.

The worse part is that this kind of thinking will only result in you wearing your “best response” pieces out all the time, and never wearing anything that doesn’t get a desired response.

What’s wrong with this you ask?

What’s wrong is that it’ll be a huge obstacle to you becoming the best version of yourself. And who doesn’t want to become their best self?

If you read this blog, you’re probably someone who likes to improve all areas of his life. One of our visions with Kinowear.com is to elevate image to it’s truest purpose-to be the best creative expression of the individual’s inherently unique personality.

Don’t get me wrong, getting opinions and feedback from other people is great. But it’s only good for you if it’s not about the opinions. Sometimes I’ll ask a girl for her opinion on an outfit, but not because I’m looking for a good response. Instead, I’ll ask just to check for myself if I’m conveying the message that I want to send out there. Still, I’ve gotten way too many random responses to take what anyone says seriously. So in the end, I present myself the way that I want to and leave it at that.

The mentality is, “This is who I am, take it or leave it.”And that’s not coming from a bitter place. It’s just a fact that my outer appearance is simply a reflection of who I am on the inside. And who I am inside is the best that it can be within a given moment. It’s not about not living up to other people’s expectations.

Most people’s outer expressions are not infused with their individual creativity. It’s mostly just a variation of what’s widely popularized.

There are three groups of people when it comes to style. The first group of people creatively do their own thing and don’t really think too much about it. What happens though is that sometimes what they wear or do becomes a trend. They become the trend-setters. The second group of people are always on top of the newest trends. They take pride in being the first to copy something off a runway or some other source of inspiration. The last group of people, don’t really put too much thought into their style, and they only start to care when they see that everyone else is starting to follow the current trends. Basically they are the last to hop on the “bandwagon.”

This isn’t only true with style. For the most part each group’s attitude can be seen in other areas of their life as well. There is no group that is “better” or “worse,” but I highly respect anyone who expresses themselves in their own creative way.

Someone who’s not at all comparing themselves to their neighbors but just freely expressing themselves the way that they want.

It’s also not coming from a place of “Hey, look at me, I’m creative and different.” Sometimes we’ll read an article like this and do the opposite of “following” and TRY to be “different” than “everyone else.”

When you’re trying to be “different,” you’re still looking for other people’s approval. You’re trying to be the “different guy.” The great news is that we don’t have to try at all, we are already different. We sometimes forget that “everyone else” is not one entity but made up of separate, uniquely different individuals.

If you want to create a look that is truly yours, you must express yourself the way you want to without needing the approval. You can take pride in the way you express yourself - that’s fine - because image does affect the way people view you. But you should do it out of your own self-respect rather than trying to please others.

It’s really an art, and as you start to express yourself the way that YOU want, there will be moments where you have to be honest and check yourself. I used to dress up for other people, to get certain responses from men and women alike, but now I just dress up out of respect for myself. It’s the same way that I don’t eat fast food, not to please other people, but out of respect for my own body.

I’ve realized that the way you look reflects how much respect you have for yourself, and that there is more joy in your life when you’re coming from this place of true self-esteem rather than chasing the surface level ego boosts we can get from others.

We all have “good” and “bad” associations with certain styles built into our minds, whether through personal experience or not.

It’s important to know where these associations come from, so that we can assess whether or not they’re congruent with our individuality or merely adopted from others. If all of your associations of “good” and “bad” are decided by others, then your style starts to become something that isn’t coming from your core identity, but an attempt to fit into a mold.

Sometimes, I’ll have a client refuse to wear something because of some childhood association with it. My last client wouldn’t wear a plaid shirt because it reminded him of a lumberjack and wouldn’t wear the color brown because it was too “cowboy.” He’s from Switzerland, and apparently his peers have a “no brown in town” motto. In New York, brown is like the new black. I still crack up thinking about the moment. If he’s reading this he’s probably laughing as well. What’s up man!

There is nothing inherently wrong with having associations with clothing, or blaming our shirt when we have a bad night, but what I want to bring to the table here is more awareness to where they come from — so that we then have choice over the matter rather than just reacting to our conditioning.

THINK ABOUT THIS:

If I took my last client to a fashion show, and every model was wearing plaid or brown, and all these beautiful women sitting next to us were saying things like “Oh my god, I love plaid on guys, I think it’s so sexy… it especially goes well with brown!” Do you think his associations with it would change? Even if someone said “Plaid reminds me of lumberjacks but lumberjacks make me horny,” it’s naturally going to change his view of plaid instantly. I’ll look over at him and already see him halfway towards the exit, going to buy some plaid and brown.

It’s also taught in Neural Linguistic Programming, that just by changing our associations with things, we can affect so many of our decisions and actions in life.

What we want is more CHOICE in developing our own style, rather than just reacting to conditioned beliefs or simply looking at what is accepted by the mainstream.

Stop right now and think about some of the associations you have. With certain types of clothing, colors, hairstyles, food, etc. When you dig behind your beliefs, you’ll realize that many beliefs you hold weren’t adopted from truth or thorough research, but mostly things that you’ve heard somewhere.

Most people go through their entire lives carrying associations or beliefs they’ve adopted from random sources.

For example, I have a friend named Jen who loves tomatoes. For years, every time she went out to eat with one of her close friends (who we’ll call Bob), she would get something with tomatoes in it, and Bob would say “I can’t believe you love tomatoes, that’s gross.” At one point, Jen asked him why he dislikes tomatoes, and he vaguely answered, “I don’t know, I just do.” Then after constant nagging from Jen, Bob finally gave in and agreed to try one. To his surprise, he found himself saying, “Wow, tomatoes are pretty delicious.” All these years he’s missed out on enjoying tomatoes, just because of one association.

Bob believes that his dislike of tomatoes developed during his childhood, when all his other friends would talk about how much they hated vegetables. He just assumed they must taste horrible if everyone else is saying that they do.

So from time to time, whenever you voice your opinions, check to see if you really know that your opinions are coming from a place of true personal experience, and a desire to keep it that way, rather than merely absorbed from your environment or past associations.

Caution:

It’s important to know that there is an instance when a bad association, although coming from personal experience, may be highly influenced by another factor:

When something is way out of our usual comfort zone.


OUR COMFORT ZONE AND HOW IT AFFECTS OUR CHOICE

Going a little bit out of your comfort zone rarely effects our experience of something. It’s only when we take a BIG leap that it gets really uncomfortable.

Let’s say that you want to take your style to the next level – and I mean the next “STAGE IN EVOLUTION!”

Whenever we face great discomfort at any moment, we usually look for the quickest fix. We have no idea what we’re doing so we’re instantly looking for other people to tell us if we’re on the right path.

If the other person comes from a place where they’ve been through the journey themselves, then the advice could be sound, but I’m talking about going to random people and asking for their opinion. You should trust in yourself and life to give you the lessons you need to achieve your goals. Even if you’ve made the smallest visions in your mind into reality - like redecorating your room - you have what it takes to make bigger visions happen. The only thing that stops us is the lie that bigger things are harder. It’s not harder, it just takes a lot more of the small steps to get there.

So let’s say that in your mind, your vision is to always look like a million bucks. Whether that means you wearing high quality suits around or being the humble millionaire with a tailored dress shirt and jeans, it doesn’t matter. What will get in your way is if people start to tell you that you look like this or that, and it affects your OWN opinion of what YOU want.

When you do something that is out of your current comfort zone, your brain will start to go “Hey, this isn’t what I’m used to!” and try to find reasons to validate that it’s “wrong,” so you can quickly “fix” that feeling of discomfort.

For example, let’s say that you own a home business, and you are your own boss. You could do work in your office in your underwear and it wouldn’t matter. But let’s just say that you wanted to have some more self-respect and not look like a slob every time you looked in the mirror.

You picture yourself working in your office with a finely tailored suit because you know that it’ll have an affect on how you feel. You know that when you feel like a million bucks, you are more productive and enjoy work. So you go buy yourself a decent suit and you start to wear it in hopes that it’ll make you feel more motivated in your home business.

At first, it feels GREAT! Then as the days go by, it gets frustrating to get yourself to tie a tie correctly when you don’t even have to wear one, and your girlfriend keeps nagging you that you’re not a “suit” kind of guy.

Or let’s say you’ve never worn a blazer to a club, but you decide to because of an inspirational picture you saw in a Kinowear article. You put one on and head to the club, and expect girls to check you out left and right because you feel so great. But as the night goes on, you keep noticing it’s there because you’re not used to wearing one. Inevitably you’ll start blaming your jacket if you get an ugly grimace from a woman, because it’s already the source of your discomfort (when it could just be you).

This is how going too far out of your comfort zone, will set up a situation where it’s easier to build a negative association with change, and you already know how much a negative association can affect an area of your life.


MAKE AWARENESS A PART OF YOU

The final question is, how can we effectively streamline the development of our own creative style without being stifled?

First, bring awareness to the associations you have with certain items of clothing. In fact, practice doing throughout the day for whatever comes up.

For example: someone asks you if you want a burger from a fast food joint, and you find yourself saying “Gross, no thanks.” Ask yourself where that response comes from. Maybe you learned in health class that the processed meat and saturated fat has no nutritional value and will only have negative effects on your health. Which science says is true.

Bring this type of awareness to managing your image, you’ll be surprised at where some beliefs come from. Doing this exercise has made me re-think and re-look at many beliefs that I had, and sometimes a change in association would shift an ENTIRE set of underlying sub-beliefs, changing a huge part of my life. You could be living the way you don’t want to be living, without even knowing it!

Second, if you have a negative personal experience with something, see if it’s only because of the natural discomfort that comes from doing something outside of your comfort zone.

An effective way I’ve found to consistently grow without biased negative associations, is to take things one step at a time.

Don’t get too ahead of yourself, unless you have the skill of not caring about what other people think (which is hard for 90% of the human population).

Take your development one step at a time. This way, the process of growth will be more comfortable, and as you fully own that next step, then you can go to the next, creating CONSISTENT improvement in whatever you’re doing.

When you try to do TOO much, you’re putting so much pressure and frustration on yourself that you’ll likely revert back to your original habits. If it’s with the style of your clothing, learn how to dress well with the basics before moving onto flashy pieces.

Now go express yourself through your own unique image!

Wooooooooo!

Many people have cut the time it takes to find their own style in HALF with a 1-on-1 consultation. Check out our consultation page.