First Impressions
I’m hanging out at a cafe drinking some tea as I’m typing this new article. I just saw two gorgeous girls getting into their car. But what makes them “gorgeous” in my mind was the way they were dressed more than anything else.
It reminds me of how much power lies within image and first impressions.
They’re gone now, but the way their outfits were put together, along with their nice bodies, made a great impression on me.
The first impression that we make is very important. Whenever we meet new people, they form an impression of us within a few seconds. Then everything we say or do beyond that point is filtered through this impression.
Can you believe that?
Yes, everything.
So it’s in our interest to make the best first impression. I’m going to teach you how to do that in this article.
The way you are dressed and groomed make up the majority of your first impression. The way you present yourself will speaks volumes about who you are before you even open your mouth.
Think about how many times you have sized someone up through one glance without a word spoken to each other.
Actually, you barely had time to think because it was probably unconscious and automatic.
So the question is: What kind of first impression do you give off?
Research shows that it only takes a woman 3-10 seconds to form an opinion of you, and it’s primarily based on what she sees. You only have these few seconds to make an impression on a woman as she gives you the once over at the grocery store or the bar.
She could be thinking, “Well, based on first impression, he’s not the kind of guy that I want” or “This guy looks like someone I might be interested in”.
If you’re going to approach her, it’ll make it a lot easier on you if she already wants you to come talk to her.
If she’s an especially attractive woman, she’s most likely a professional at sizing guys up. Why? It’s because she gets hit on all day, everyday.
Since these women don’t have the time to listen to every single guy’s approach, they adapt the process of dismissing guys who don’t - at the least - look like someone they want to talk to.
This does not mean you have to have Adonis like features, but it means you could afford to dress on par with the type of women you want. Anyone under a woman’s standards of “looks” isn’t really going to make a strong first impression until she gets to really know them. But we’re talking about instant first impressions here. By “looks,” I mean how well dressed and groomed a man is.
Most men dress in a way that tries to make a good impression on “everyone.” This is why they have a look that is “safe” and boring. It doesn’t offend anyone or arouse anyone, it’s just neutral. Well, maybe it does offend the fashion police but that’s about it.
Naturally, we want to attract girls who value the same things we do. I believe the saying “Opposites attract” is incomplete. Opposites only attract when one person values something in another person, but they don’t have what they have. So it really isn’t even opposite, people who value the same thing are attracted to each other. For example, an insecure girl may be attracted to a secure man because deep down she wishes she was confident and strong, so she values that in a man.
This is why you must first be clear on your values before you can create a strong impression.
So what do you value?
Get out a sheet of paper and quickly list all the things you like. Don’t hold anything back. Write about all the things you love, all the things you hate, your code of conduct, and all the characteristics you want in yourself even if you don’t have them right now.
DO THIS EXERCISE. It takes 5 mins. If you don’t you probably won’t develop the kind of first impression that you want.
Once you’re done, look over it.
Everything you listed is probably something you want your ideal girl to have as well. It doesn’t matter if you believe she’s out there or not, that’s why she’s your “ideal” girl.
Start to incorporate what you value into your image, and you’ll have a higher chance of making a great impression on the people that value the same things as you. It’s really simple. I’m not trying to make it harder for you than it is.
So for example, if you like Rock music, and you find yourself attracted to rocker girls, the best way to instantly show your common interests would be to display your love of Rock.
We naturally want to attract a woman who has the same values we do, so this weeds out the kind of girls you don’t want, and increases your chances of hitting it off with a girl you do want.
Grooming
Grooming is very important on first impression as well. Even the most beautiful woman on earth would disgust any man if she walked around smelling like bile with a bird’s nest on her head.
Do your best and work with everything you’ve got grooming wise. Make sure you always have your hair trimmed, face shaved, nails trimmed, teeth white, and yourself smelling great.
Scent is a major factor of first impression as well. A female friend of mine recently told me to stress how important it is for a guy to smell great. “A guy who smells good instantly grabs attention and sparks attraction.”
There you have it boys, go invest in a nice bottle of cologne.
Make sure everything is as good as you can keep it. Why? Because it shows how much self-respect you have for your own body. If people see that you love yourself, it gives them the impression that there must definitely be something about you to love.
I know a girl who liked everything about a guy except for the fact that he had yellow teeth. It simply turned her off. Even one hygienic fault can break a good interaction if not properly taken care of.
So INCREASE your attractiveness by hitting all the points you can. Start comparing yourself with the most stylish guy in the room and checking off what you’ve missed. Women will gauge the quality of everything you wear, along with your hygiene, and then they will make a whole lot of judgments about you based on all the information presented.
Undoubtedly you want to attract beautiful women who have great hygiene and look spectacular all the time. You should at least be at par with them. If you don’t want this kind of woman, stop reading this article.
Make it a HABIT to be well groomed and this will guarantee you always looking your best.
Try this exercise: throughout your day, notice the impression that strangers make on you and why you form certain opinions about them. Notice who is wearing designer jeans, who isn’t, and who just trimmed their nails or got a haircut. Notice when it is that you find yourself attracted to a girl, and when you don’t. Also, look at guys and try to figure out their story, you’ll catch on quick to the little nuances that are sending bad messages.
SERIOUSLY, try this and it’s going to be wild how quickly you begin to pick up on these cues once you become more perceptive. Women are better at this than we are, because it’s in their culture to care more about appearance. They have a lot more practice with it. But it’s a skill that men can easily learn as well. Bang it into your brain that women are conscious of all of the details in your appearance - so you should know what you’re presenting.
Here’s an example of some well-groomed guys:
Make them do a “double-take”
Women will notice the attention you give to detail, organization and cleanliness, and conclude that this attitude overflows into all the other areas of your life. All of this encompasses a successful, confident, and attractive man.
Remember that this first impression of you sets the stage, which you will then fill in congruently as they get to know more about you.
For those guys who are extremely thin or overweight - accept who you are - you have the ability to look just as good as everyone else. Do the best with what you have by playing on your strengths and stereotypes.
If you are skinny, wear clothes that fit you but that aren’t too tight. Baggy clothing will make you look even thinner. Wear layers to add mass and make a good impression through a unique and creative style. Do yourself a favor and join a gym, I guarantee you’ll feel a lot more confident about yourself as you gain muscle, as well as feel stronger.
If you are a big guy, try dressing like a ‘bouncer’ or a powerful business mogul in power suits. This plays on your strengths and GOOD stereotypes. The alternative would be to fill the stereotype of an alcohol binging, pizza gorging frat guy.
There is no excuse for you guys not to join a gym as well. Looking and actually feeling healthier will only help you in the game with women.
What kind of first impression do you give off?(Ask a good friend to write 5 impressions they get from you) - what did they think when they first met you?
Anyway, that’s about all I have to say on this topic for today. Hopefully you guys have gained a new perspective.
Stay sharp,
Jae
